


And Now I'll Do What's Best For Me

by when_life_gives_you_lemons



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellamy and Clarke are actors, Bellarke, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, In the same TV show, Slow Burn, mostly Bellarke, sorry - Freeform, the 100 au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-11-12 06:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/when_life_gives_you_lemons/pseuds/when_life_gives_you_lemons
Summary: "What?" Clarke asked, half smiling. He shifted in his seat."You, ah, you look gorgeous." he said, and Clarke could see a blush spreading across his neck."Well, you don't look too bad yourself." she replied, tugging playfully on the hem of his shirt to cover up her own blush."Yeah?" he said, grinning again and looking down at himself."Yeah, you clean up nice, but...""But what?" he said, "Is there something wrong?" She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair until it resembled its usual unruly mess. He had clearly tried to style it, but Clarke much preferred it as a wild tangle of silky curls."You like it like that, huh?" Bellamy said after she lowered hands, but his voice was rough, and when Clarke met his eyes again, she could see his pupils were dilated.OrBellamy and Clarke meet after being casted as the two romantically involved lead characters in a new TV show.





	1. You Suck At Talking People Into Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Over the past month or so, I have been reading all these bellarke stories, and they made me feel so much better after watching canon, so, of course, I just had to try write one of my own! This is my first ever Bellarke story and I'll admit that I am nervous to publish it for everyone to see. Comments and kudos will be greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoy it!

It really was all Raven's Fault.  
Clarke had come from work, exhausted and ready to pass out on her bed until next week, when her roomate burst into her room.  
"Clarke! I was talking with Wells today, and he said that there's going to be a new TV series, and it's going to be filmed right here in Arkton!"  
Clarke sighed, "Raven, I-"  
"And they need actors! So I told him that you would probably want to audition, and that I would ask you when you got back from work. So, do you want to?"  
At that point, Clarke had been prepared to do anything if it meant that Raven would leave her be until morning. So she agreed.  
"Okay, but can we talk when I'm a little less sleep deprived?"  
"Okay, Goodnight!" called Raven over her shoulder, as she shut the door behind her.

And now here she was, eight days later, lining up to audition for the CW's new show.

Clarke knew she was good at acting - she had taken drama in high school and then continued for a couple of years at the local club - but she honestly didn't believe she had what it took to be the leading female role, Eliza. But of course, Raven had not only managed to get Clarke to do the stupid audition, she had also persuaded her to try out for the leading role. She said that if Clarke was going to be in the show, she might as well be the star. And even if someone else got the part, they still might cast Clarke as a different character. It made sense, so Clarke agreed, albeit slightly reluctantly. She had nothing to lose.

Her reverie was interuptted when a girl, only a few years younger than Clarke with long black hair and startling blue eyes, approached her.  
"Hi, do you know where to go to try for out for Marie? She's the male lead's younger sister."  
"I think you're supposed to go over there." Clarke answered, pointing over to where she had overheard some girls chattering excitedly about the said character.  
"Oh, thank you. I'm Octavia by the way." the girl - Octavia - replied.  
"Clarke." she extended her hand, "Good luck."  
"You too, and thanks again!" said Octavia brightly as she shook Clarkes outstretched hand, then turned to head towards where Clarke had pointed.

Clarke watched Octavia skip off to greet a few other people, before turning to scan the crowd for Raven's familiar face. If she was completely honest with herself, she would admit that she probably would have ended up in this situation, even if Raven hadn't tried at all. But it was way more fun if she could blame someone

"Okay, listen up everyone!" a voice cut through the hubbub, and everyone turned to the front of the courtyard where a man stood, holding a microphone.  
"I'm Marcus Kane, and I will be the director of the new show, 100 Ways to Say Goodbye. I'm assuming that everyone here is either or auditioning, or supporting a friend. If you are the latter, then please stay out of the lines as we want this day to run as smoothly as possible. Actors, please wait in your lines until you are called up, then follow the person in red to the auditioning room. After you have finished, you may go, but not before having your details checked at the desk to my left. Please remember that although you may not get the part you auditioned for, we could still decide to give you a different role. Thank you."  
The instant he finished speaking, a clamour of nervous voices rose.

It was only now that the full extent of what Clarke was doing hit her. She was auditioning against possibly proffesionals for what could end up being a hit new TV series that everyone watched. What if she failed miserably? What if she didn't?  
"Clarke Griffin."  
Too late now. She stepped to the front of the line where a lady with greying hair and a red shirt stood.  
"Hi Clarke, are you auditioning for Eliza?" Her name tag read Vera Kane; she must be the directors mother.  
" Yes" replied Clarke  
"And is this your first time auditioning for something like this?" Vera inquired.  
"It is." Clarke said, trying to cover up the nervous undertone. She mustn't have done so very well because Vera's expression softened a little.  
"Okay, follow me." Clarke quickly searched the crowd for Raven, and found her just as she was called to the front of her line. She caught Clarke's eye and gave her a thumbs up, and Clarke returned the gesture. Here goes nothing.  
She began to mentally run through her lines as she followed Vera into a hallway lined with doors. Clarke hadn't felt this nervous since she had last spoken to her mother, and, unfortunately that hadn't turned out well. At all.

She quickly pushed aside all thoughts of her mother as they stopped outside a door marked 3a.  
"This is where I leave you." Vera said softly, "good luck Clarke." She swept her gaze over Clarke's face once more "But somehow I don't think you'll need it." Before Clarke had time to process the comment, Vera opened the door and gently pushed her through.

"You must be Clarke Griffin?" A stern looking woman greeted Clarke as she entered.  
"Yes" she affirmed  
"I'm Indra. And I'm assuming you're here to audition for Eliza?"  
"I am." Clarke tried to keep the shake out of her voice. The more confident she seemed, the better she would appear as an actor.  
"This is Bellamy." Clarkes eyes followed Indra's gesture towards the third person in the room, whom Clarke had previously failed to notice.  
"He is auditioning for the male lead, Bob. You two will be acting out a scene together, so I hope you prepared well, for each others sakes." continued Indra.

Bellamy surveyed her cooly. He was tall, almost intimidatingly so, and he had loose black curls resting messily on his head. His deep brown eyes were framed with long lashes, and his full lips were pulled down in a slight frown. A smattering of freckles covered his tan skin. Clarke tried not be distracted by how hot he was.  
"You can begin when you're ready."

In the scene, Eliza and Bob are having an argument. Eliza believes that for Christophers birthday, they should have a Star Wars theme, but Bob thinks that they should go with Star Trek. It's supposed to be a debate between two best friends, with strong arguments, but without anger. Clarke drew in a deep breath, and said her first line.

It was surprisingly easy. As soon as she warmed up to the idea of being on stage, she found that the conversation between her and Bellamy flowed easily. They argued for a bit, teased each other a little, before Bob finally relented to having a Star Wars party.

After the scene finished, Clarke turned to Indra to find she had a quizzical expression on her face.  
"Do you two know each other?" she asked, still frowning slightly.  
"Uh, no." replied Bellamy as Clarke shook her head. Acting together had been easy, but did it really look like they knew each other? She looked at him sideways, to find him studying her again. He averted his gaze. Indra raised her eyebrows slightly, and quickly jotted down a note on her paper.  
"Okay, that will be all for today." she said curtly and nodded at the door.

Clarke followed Bellamy out, relieved to be done with the audition, only to to be stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to to face Bellamy, who was regarding her curiously, but still with a hint of indifference in his eyes.  
"Clarke, right?"  
"Yeah" she replied curiously. Bellamy had intrigued her the moment she had laid eyes on him; she just couldn't figure out why. He opened if mouth as if to say something, but was cut off by a shout coming from behind.  
"Clarke!" She turned, and only had a moment to register that it was Raven who had called out, before she was smothered by a hug.  
"Raven!" she laughed and pulled back, "how was your audition?" but Raven wasn't listening. She had her eyes firmly fixed on Bellamy, with an inscrutiable expression on her face.  
"Uh, Rae, come on." Clarke gently pulled Ravens arm, and she instantly snapped her attention back to Clarke.  
"Yeah, okay, let's go." she said, her expression still unreadable. Clarke frowned worriedly at her friend as she followed her out. She cast a curious glance back at Bellamy just before she left the building. If she hadn't found him intriguing before, she certainly did now.

 

* * *

 

 "Are you going to tell me what that was about?" Clarke demanded as soon as she and Raven got into the car.

After they had left, Clarke decided to put aside all thoughts of the weird incident until they were alone again. Clarke had run into Octavia while she and Raven had been heading to the check out table, and the two of them got into a conversation while Raven checked over her details - Clarke had done hers before the audition. Clarke discovered that her and Octavia shared the same favourite cafe, The Dropship, and that Octavia was a makeup artist running her own buisness. The two girls exchanged numbers before Clarke and Raven headed over to Ravens car.

"Ugh." Raven sighed, "Do you remember the night after we broke up with Finn?" Clarke remember clearly. Upon meeting each other, the two girls had gotten into a conversation. Clarke was planning a surprise dinner for her boyfriend at his apartment the next day, and Raven was picking out some movies for a movie night with her boyfriend the next day. After discovering that their boyfriends both lived at the same apartment block, Clarke had offered Raven a ride. After they arrived, Clarke had asked Raven what number her partner lived at, Raven had told her that Finn lived in room number 315. It all clicked after that. The two girls managed to supress their feelings long enough to accuse Finn, and break up with him.  
"Yeah..." Clarke replied, pieces were already begining to click into place, "I asked if you wanted to stay at mine because all your stuff was at Finn's place, but you said it was fine and that you would just crash with a friend."  
"Yeah well, I actually went to the Grounders bar and got really really drunk. I hooked up with some guy, and he ended up taking me home." After a long pause, Clarke asked,  
"So, who was it?" She already knew the answer.

"Bellamy. Bellamy Blake." Raven said as she brought her forehead down onto the steering wheel.  
"It was a one night stand. I was never supposed to see him again." Raven mumbled, as if to make excuses.  
"Oh." was Clarke's only reply. She was still trying to process what she had just been told. Raven had slept with Bellamy. Raven, her best friend, had secretly slept with Bellamy, the person she auditioned with.  
"Oh. Well I guess you'll have to talk to him about it sooner or later. If you both get parts in the show, then you'll have to do something about it. Better sooner than later." Clarke reasoned. She hated seeing her friend upset or uncomfortable, but this was the only way.  
"Mmkay." Raven hummed in agreement. She needed some serious cheering up.  
"Hey, how about we throw a pre-cast party for everyone who auditioned? You could talk it over with Bellamy, then get real drunk with me, how's that sound?" Clarke suggested. Raven lifted her head to look over at Clarke, and offered a small smile.  
"What did I do to get a friend like you." Raven replied. Clarke grinned.  
"Must've been something pretty amazing." Clarke teased, as Raven grinned back.  
"One huge pre-cast party coming up!" she announced, and Clarke laughed at her enthusiasm.

She turned up the music loud as they drove home, belting out the lyrics to her favourite song. Raven laughed a bit at her terrible singing, but eventually joined in too. After all, what are friends for?


	2. I Belong Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pre-cast party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the nature of this story a little. I intended to have Bellamy and Clarke as enemies at the start, but I couldn't bring myself to make them hate each other (I'm only human!) so I hope you guys don't mind!

When Raven makes promises, she delivers.  
Over the next few days, Clarke could hardly find space on their bench for all the papers Raven had spread everywhere; she was determined to make this party "so good that the producers will cast us soley based on our party throwing skills". But Clarke suspected it had more to do with having a distraction from the inevitable talk she was going to have to have with Bellamy.  
But Clarke knew better than to interfere, and if a distraction was what Raven needed, then Clarke wasn't going to keep that from her.  
And maybe a distraction was just what Clarke needed too.

Lately, she had been feeling... trapped in her job as a nurse. She enjoyed it, but it just didn't feel like the right thing for her. Her mother definitely wasn't helping. Clarke loved Abby, but she wanted her own life, she wanted to be able to make her own desicions without her mother constantly breathing down her neck, telling her what was right and what was wrong. Abby's desicions had effectively ruled her life, but now Clarke was old enough to understand that desicions had consequences; she wasn't a child anymore.  
But Abby didn't seem to understand that, and now Clarke had had enough.

Raven burst into the room, disrupting Clarke's train of thought.  
"Oh, Clarke, I need you to look over the email I'm sending out to everyone; make sure it's not missing any important details. I need to get ahold of the cocktail people to double check times." she said, a little rushed, as she directed Clarke over to where her laptop was sitting on the table. Yeah, a distraction was exactly what Clarke needed.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the week passed in a blur of party details and food preparation. Both Clarke and Raven put aside all thoughts of dread, doubt or confusion, and threw themselves into the work. And now that the day was upon them, they had nothing left to do but to sit and wait.  
Clarke walked around the dining room, absentmindedly straightening the table cloth, or shifting the cocktail glasses on the bench. Raven was sitting on the couch, fiddling with a spare part from her latest project.  
"Are you sure there's nothing left to do?" Clarke asked, breaking the silence.  
"Yeah, I'm sure. The only thing we have to do now is get ready, and I was thinking that we should do that in about half an hour?" Raven replied, putting aside the spare part and standing, "Do you-"  
She was cut off by the sound of Clarkes ringtone. As Clarke looked down at the screen, she felt a familiar heavy weight settle in her stomach.

"It's Abby." she sighed, "I had better take it." Clarke answered the phone as Raven stepped out of the room, giving her privacy. Clarke shot her a quick smile and mouthed 'thanks' before lifting the phone to her ear.  
"Hey mum." she said. She knew it was only her mother, but that didn't help relax her tense muscles.  
"Clarke. What are you doing?" Abby replied, quick and emotionless. Just like she always was.  
"Um, Rae and I are just waiting around for the party to start." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew it was a mistake.

"What party?" Abby asked, with a hint of suspicion in her voice. Clarke took a deep breath before answering,  
"It's a sort of, pre-cast party for everyone who auditioned for this show."  
"So, why are you going then." Abby replied, but Clarke knew her mum. She already knew what the answer was going to be, Clarke could tell by the way she said it, but she wanted confirmation.  
"Because I auditioned." Clarke could almost feel her mother's disapproval through the phone.  
"And you didn't talk to me about it?" Abby said sharply, but before Clarke could snap back a reply, she continued, "And what is this show anyway. What's it called?"  
"It's called 100 Ways to Say Goodbye, it's a new one from the CW. I auditioned for the lead." Clarke said, tightly.  
"Clarke! You know you should have your full focus on nursing. It's your future, you chose it for yourself-"  
"No, you chose it for me!" Clarke cut her off. "You've chosen everything for me from the begining! But I'm not a child anymore, I can make my own desicions and deal with the consequences by myself!" Clarke was breathing hard, trying to ignore the burning behind her eyes.  
"I do not treat you like a child unless you act like one! And at the moment, you are acting like a spoilt little girl who thinks she knows best!" Each word felt like a physical blow to Clarke, and the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back spilt out in a flood down her cheeks. "I just don't understand why you could possibly want to do something so time consuming, if you're still working to become a doctor!" Abby said sharply. The numb feeling shattered, only to be replaced by a burning anger.  
"Well did it ever cross your mind, that maybe, just maybe, I don't actually want to be a doctor? Maybe, I only became a nurse because that was what you wanted! Maybe, just maybe, I even felt pressured into the desicion, like if I wanted anything different to what you did, then I was wrong!" Clarke felt as if a weight had been lifted of her chest. All of her anger, all her pent up feelings, finally being released in a torrent of words. She was met with silence.  
"Why didn't you say something?" Abby finally said, softly, quietly, as if she actually cared.  
"You know what, I can't deal with this right now. The party is going to start soon, and really don't want to ruin the whole thing because of this. Bye mum." Then she hung up.

Raven came in five minutes later, and to find Clarke standing in the middle of the room, staring down at the blank screen of her phone, with tear tracks marking her cheeks.  
"Clarke?" she asked gently, and Clarke lifted her gaze to meet Raven's.  
"She doesn't think I should do the show. She thinks it's going take too much of my focus off nursing. She thinks I'm still just a child who-" she choked on her words, and Raven came over to silently embrace her. Clarke gratefully accepted the hug, finally allowing the sobs to wrack her body.

 

* * *

 

 

An hour later, Clarke answered the doorbell for the first group of guests; three boys called Jasper, Monty and Miller, whom Clarke immediately liked.

After her meltdown, Raven managed to coax Clarke into having a shower, while she prepared Clarke's dress and the makeup she was going to use. The shower, combined with the makeover, had left Clarke feeling a whole lot better, and much more prepared for a night of partying. She had been determined to have a good time, in spite of her mothers harsh words.  
And now here she was, just as determined, if not more so.  
As more guests flooded in, Clarkes began to relax, and by the time Octavia came through the door, Clarke was laughing at one of Monroe's jokes.

"Clarke!" cried Octavia as she rushed over to greet Clarke with a hug.  
"Hey Octavia," she laughed, returning the embrace. Even though the two only met at the audition, Clarke couldn't help but feel a connection to the girl. They just... worked.  
"I am so ready to get drunk! Where's the alcohol?" Octavia half shouted over the music, and Clarke couldn't  help but agree with the sentiment. She was so ready to get drunk.

It was a little while later when she first saw him. She'd had a few drinks with Raven and Octavia, who had instantly become friends, and was actually having fun for the first time in months. Clarke would  let him ruin it. She turned her back to the crowd, and decided to ignore it.  
"You know what? I have to talk to someone, and I think that I should do that now. Before I get too drunk." Raven half-slurs.  
"Rae, I'm not sure if you should go right now. Maybe have a glass of water first? I know-" was all Clarke could get in before Raven cut her off,  
"Lighten up Griffin. I'll be fine, just don't let anyone touch my drink." she said, before she turned, and strode off into the crowd. Clarke couldn't help but admire her confidence.  
She turned back to find Octavia staring intently at someone in the living room.  
"Clarke," she said, keeping her eyes fixed on whoever it was that had caught her attention, "Will you excuse me for a second?" Clarke opened her mouth to reply, but Octavia was already slipping off her stool, and heading into the throng of people.

Clarke sipped her drink, contemplating. Both of her friends were gone now, so she wasn't sure if she should just stay and wait for them, or go and talk to someone else. That was when she felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned to see him. Finn Collins.

A sudden flare of anger shot through her. How dare he show his face here after everything he'd done to her; after everything he'd done to Raven. She glared at him and turned to leave, but he caught her arm.  
"Please Clarke. I just want to talk." The desperation in his voice was enough to make Clarke pause. It couldn't hurt to just talk, could it?  
"Please." he whispered. Just one more conversation, and then she never had to see him again.  
"Okay. Go on then, but make it quick." She hoped she wouldn't regret it. The relief on his face was clear as he began to talk,  
"I've know Raven since we were both kids, and we only started dating last year. It was going well-"  
"I really don't need to know the details of your previous relationships, Finn. Get to the point." Clarke said, sharply. Finn looked a little hurt, and Clarke felt a dark glee. Good, he deserved it.  
"Okay, well Raven had to go overseas for some project, and she told me it wouldn't take long and that we could do a long distance relationship."  
"But you got bored so you started dating me instead." Clarke snapped.  
"Please let me finish Clarke," Finn saif, exasperated, and when Clarke didn’t reply, he continued, "I didn't hear from her for three months straight. Three months! I thought that she'd found someone else, but didn't want to talk to me about it. It hurt, so I tried to forget. Then you came along. Gorgeous, smart, strong willed, everything I looked for in a girl. You were perfect Clarke." She barely refrained from rolling her eyes, "I thought Raven was out of the picture, but then one day she turned up on my doorstep, with some excuse about having no time to talk, or even send a text. Appartently her project was so time consuming that she couldn't even send one single text." That was it. Clarke was furious.  
"Stop. You don't get to blame this on Raven, Finn. This is on you. You know what? Communication is a two way thing, and I bet you didn't even try all that hard to talk to her. Even if you did, that gives you no excuse to go behind her back! It was a mistake talking to you. Goodbye Finn." She only had time to register the shock on his face, before she turned and stormed off into the kitchen.

She's stomped blindly into the kitchen, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill onto her cheeks. A glass of water. She just needed water. But when she reached the cupboard, someone was already there.  
"Move." she snapped, without even looking to see who it was. She didn't care.  
"Woah, okay then princess." Finn used to call her that. She glanced up, ready to snap back a reply, and met Bellamy's gaze, "Wait, are you okay?" he asked, his expression softening into concern. Clarke laughed bitterly.  
"Yeah, my mum thinks I'm a spoilt brat, and my cheating ex just tried to blame my best friend for everything, so yeah. I'm good." She managed to say, but she knew it wouldn't  be long before she broke.  
"Lucky you," He said dryly, and that was what did it. Tears started pouring down her face, ruining Raven's makeup, and that only made Clarke cry harder. She crumpled, and Bellamy just managed to catch her before she collapsed. He lowered her to the ground, and she clung onto him.  
"Don't go. Please, I cant be alone." she sobbed, clutching his shirt. He started stroking her back as she cried into his chest.  
"It's okay princess, I'm not going anywhere." he murmured soothingly. She looked up at him,  
"Promise?" she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.  
"Promise." he whispered back, smiling gently. She tucked herself into his side as he began combing his fingers through her hair.

He promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! To be honest, I'm not entirely confident about this chapter. Did Clarke and Abby's argument/ Clarke and Finn's conversation sound like them? Was the part with Bellamy and Clarke too fast and/or too unrealistic? Sorry if you didn't enjoy it, and once again, thanks for reading!
> 
> P.S. If anyone is willing to beta the rest of this story, please contact me!


	3. She Raised Me To Be Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry this chapter is a bit late, but I've been super busy over this past week.  
> I've decided to do a couple of different POVs in this chapter, so I hope you don't mind! I have also changed the rating of this story from Teen to Mature. I'm not 100% sure where the line is for that, but I thought it best to be safe.  
> Enjoy!

Raven pushed her way through the crowd of people. She had been anxious about her talk with Bellamy all week, and now that it was finally off her chest, she felt so much lighter.  
The chat itself had gone well; both her and Bellamy had agreed that the best course of action would be for them to forget their past, and start anew. Raven was just relieved to have the whole thing over with.

When she finally reached the bar, both Clarke and Octavia had disappeared. So much for looking after her drink. She turned back to the party, scanning the crowd for her two friends. She soon found Octavia, pushed up against a wall, making out with one of the cast members (Lincoln?). Okay, maybe she should look for Clarke instead.  
She looked over the room once more before downing her drink, and pushing her way back into the party. Maybe Clarke was in the other room?

Raven was so focused on finding Clarke, that she didn't realise it was Wells she was pushing aside, until he called out to her.  
"Raven! Hey, I thought I might find you here."  
"This is my apartment." she pointed out. He just laughed. She loved his laugh, the way he tipped his head back slightly, and how he just seemed to let go...  
"How are things with Clarke?" He questioned, interrupting her train of thought.  
"What do you mean?" She asked, " We're good. We've always been good. Are we not supposed to be? Maybe we aren't. I don't know."  
"How many drinks have you had, exactly?" Wells laughed. Shit. She hadn't been counting. She wanted to tell Wells the answer, she always wanted to tell him the answers to all his questions. She wanted him know everything about everything. Everything about her.. "Uhhhhh" is all she came up with. He laughed again. God, she loved his laugh.  
"You'll have to show me which drink is your favourite." He murmured, stepping closer. Raven involuntarily sucked in a breath.  
"Wells..." Raven trailed off, finding herself unashamedly staring at his mouth. Wells opened his mouth to speak, or maybe something else, Raven hoped it was something else...

They both jumped when Wells' phone went off. He glanced down at the screen, and sighed deeply.  
"It's my dad. He needs me for something, I have to go." He said apologetically. Raven made a pouty face, she didn't want him to leave. Wells smiled, and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.  
"I'll see you later." He whispered, before slipping away into the crowd. Raven sighed wistfully, pressing her fingers up to the spot where he kissed her. Maybe one day he would see her as more than a friend. Maybe one day.  
She sighed again, then suddenly remembered what she was doing in the first place.  
"Clarke!" She announced, earning a few confused looks from onlookers. Okay, maybe she could admit that she was a little drunk. Only a little. Maybe.

She stumbled into the other room, barely stopping herself from crashing into other people. Clarke must be around here somewhere. As soon as she found her, Raven was going to rant to Clarke about how boys always messed with her feelings. She felt like she was getting mixed signals from Wells. He just needed to fucking _make up his mind_  and stop messing with her. Or maybe it was just her with her stupid crush reading into things. Probably.

Suddenly Raven tripped, tipping over straight into someone else.  
"Woah, hey there." the strangers arms wrapped around her, keeping her from falling. It was a man.  
"Uhhh, hi." She said awkwardly, as he let her go. She could  now see his face clearly, and she ws definitely grateful for it. He was hot. And he was really close. All she had to do is lean in a little... No, she couln't. She had Clarke and Wells to think about. But they weren't there.  
"You're gorgeous." he said bluntly. Yeah, ok, she deserved this. She organised the whole fucking party after all. He leaned in. She put in so much work. She tipped her head back. Clarke won't mind. His lips parted. Wells didn't even care about her like that. She gripped his shirt. She deserved this... Their lips met.

The kiss was hot and passionate. Raven twined her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He tasted like alcohol.  
"I'm Roan by the way." he got out between kisses. She moaned into his mouth as he grinded against her.  
"Raven." she gasped out as he broke away to kiss along her neck. She groaned as he bit her shoulder, arching into him. She pulled his mouth back up to meet hers, and she felt him shudder when she tugs his bottom lip. She should stop. He licked into her mouth, causing her to involuntarily moan again. She really should stop. His hands were stroking up and down her sides. But she couldn't stop, it just felt too good. Besides, she deserved this.

 

* * *

 

 

After Lincoln left, Octavia decided to look for Clarke. She felt a little guilty for just getting up and leaving her by herself. Oh well, she would find some way to make up for it. If she could ever find Clarke.  
Octavia had searched pretty much the whole apartment, with still no sign of her. There was a chance she had just missed her in the crowd, but she still hadn't looked everywhere. She mentally checked off the places she had yet to go: the bathroom, Raven's room, the kitchen and the balcony. Octavia idly wondered what Clarke could be doing as she walked towards the kitchen. She stopped abruptly when she reached the doorway.

She had found Clarke, but that wasn't what surprised her. What surprised her was the fact that Clarke was sitting on the ground, curled up asleep, _on her brother_.  
"Bell?" she said, shock written across her features. He lifted his head from where it rested on top of Clarkes, to look at Octavia.  
"Hey O." he whispered. She walked towards them, trying to make a minimal amount of noise.  
"Umm, what is this." she gestured at Clarke, eyebrows raised.  
"Hey, it isn't what it looks like. She just needed someone, and I was there." Bellamy whispered defensively, frowning at her.  
"Uh huh. What was it that she needed then." she replied, smirking at her brother. He rolled his eyes.  
"O, I understand that you are weirdly invested in my love life, but please don't make things weird. We could end up being co-stars for the show, and I definitely don't want to make things difficult. Like I said, she needed someone and I was there." It was Octavia's turn to roll her eyes. But she knew when to back off.  
"Ok Bell." she murmured.  
"How have you been enjoying the party?" he asked. Octavia tried to keep from blushing as she suddenly remembered Lincoln. He was... amazing. Perfect for her. But she knew Bellamy wouldn't see it that way, especially with their 6 year age gap. To Bellamy, she would always be the little girl who needed protection. She would tell him about Lincoln eventually, just not yet.  
"It's been great." she replied, feeling the slight pang of guilt shoot through her, "Raven is certainly having fun." Octavia smirked as she remembered spotting Raven and Roan during her search for Clarke. Bellamy huffed out a laugh.  
"Go and enjoy the party O. I'll be right here if you need me." he whispered, still smiling.  
"Bell... just be careful." she replied as she stood. He shot her a confused look, but she just smiled before turning around to walk away.

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy absentmindedly ran his fingers through Clarkes hair. He had been mulling over Octavia's warning for a while now, and he still didn't understand. Be careful? Be careful how? Maybe she'd meant something different. But what? He sighed, dropping his head to rest on Clarkes again. Her hair smelled of strawberries.

When Clarke had come into the kitchen, demanding that he moved out of the way, Bellamy had instantly assumed that she was just a spoilt princess who hadn't learned her manners. Until he saw her face. Her luminous blue eyes had been brimming with tears, and her bottom lip had been quivering. He couldn't help it, his big brother instincts had instantly kicked in.

And now here he was with the princess curled into his side, sleeping. When he had first seen her at the audition, he had instantly been curious. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something, some connection he seemed to feel towards her. He didn't know if was mutual. He had been meaning to ask her if they somehow knew each other, but they had been interupted by Raven.

He was glad things between him and Raven had worked out the way they did; he really liked Raven, if not in that way. She was brilliant, not one single problem had even beaten her. She truly was amazing. Except when it came to love. Bellamy didn't know the whole story about the whole Finn thing, but he knew enough to understand that Finn was a dick. A dick who cheated on one of his friends, and broke her heart.

Movement from beside him broke his chain of thought, Clarke was waking up. She opened her eyes, blinking slowly, before raising her hand to rub her face. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing Bellamy had ever seen.  
"Good morning princess." he murmured, and she lifted her gaze to look up at him.  
"Bellamy?" she said sleepily, then did a little yawn. It really was cute.  
"How are you?" he whispered. She frowned, then squinted up at him again.  
"Really tired." she proclaimed, snuggling closer to his side. He laughed.  
"Ok, come on. Let's get you to bed." he said, moving as if to get up.  
"No, it's warm here." she said, the sound muffled by Bellamy's T shirt. It reminded him of when Octavia was younger, and when she would fall asleep on him during a movie.  
"It'll be warmer in your bed." he repiled, trying to stand up. But she had wrapped her arms around him stubbornly, and it was clear that she wasn't letting go any time soon. He sighed, then hooked his arms underneath her.  
"What are you doing?" she squealed, as he lifted her off the floor. Her arms tightened around his neck.  
"Taking you to your bedroom, but you'll have to give me directions." She grumbled under breath for a bit, before lifting her finger and pointing,  
"That way."

Clarke was still a little drunk, so the journey to her room took a lot longer than it otherwise would have, but when they finally arrived, Clarke was half alseep in his arms again.  
"Here we are." he murmured, lowering her gently onto the bed. She mumbled something incoherent, before rolling over onto her side.  
" 'night Bellamy." she whispered, smiling up at him with her eyes half closed.  
" 'night princess." he murmured back, tucking the duvet under her chin. Then he walked out of the room, gently shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Enjoy!  
> Me also: *throws fluff at you*
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave comments/kudos if you want to hear more! And I'm still looking for someone to beta.


	4. Slay Your Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party.  
> Clarke and Raven find out who got into the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! This week I've been super busy, so I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed.  
> I'm thinking that I might start updating fortnightly instead of weekly because I have noticed that my chapters have been going down in quality due to the amount of time I have (or rather don't have) to write it up. Sorry for any inconvenience, and I hope you all enjoy!

Clarke woke up to a throbbing in her head and a mouth like sandpaper.

She groaned and covered her face with her duvet, hiding from the sunlight streaming in through a gap in her curtains. Last night had been crazy, what with her mum and Finn. A blush began to spread across her cheeks as she remembered how she had fallen asleep on Bellamy. She had fallen asleep on him. He was basically a stranger, and she had fallen asleep on him. At least he wasn't actually a stranger anymore.

She groaned again and sat up, lifting a hand to her temple as the throbbing in her head intensified. She NEEDED water. Something on her bedside table caught her eye as she moved to get out of bed. A glass of water and some aspirin, with a note on top. She grabbed the glass of water and a tablet, downing half the glass in one gulp, before she picked up the note.  
'Thought the princess might need a little something to help with her hangover -B'. A smile broke out across her face. It was such a small thing, but it was so thoughtful. Although the nickname still bothered her, not that it was his fault. It's just, Finn called her that. It's a name she associated with Finn. She sighed, then got out of bed to have a shower.

 

* * *

 

  
After Clarke had showered, changed, brushed her hair, and had another aspirin, she was finally ready to face the day. Outside of her room, the apartment was a mess. Paper plates and cups were strewn everywhere, half empty cocktail glasses lined the counter top, and there were people everywhere. Raven was up, thankfully, and Clarke found her with a group of four others.  
"Clarke, hey! I wasn't sure if you were awake, so I didn't get you earlier, but Jasper, Monty, Miller, Harper and I are just waking everyone up." she said, gesturing to the four people behind her. She hadn't fully met Clarke's eyes yet, which Clarke found weird.  
"Ok, I'll help then." she said, putting Raven's odd behaviour on the back burners for now. It was cleaning time.

The five of them, joined by Octavia, managed to clear the apartment of the remaining people and most of the junk lying about relatively quickly, but after a few hours, everyone was starving. Raven ordered pizza for the six of them plus Bellamy, who had decided to hang around as well, and they all settled down on Clarke and Raven's over-sized couches.

Clarke was hot and sweaty and probably in need of another shower, but she was content. Her headache had mostly disappeared, she was worn out in a way you could only get from working hard, and she was surrounded by people whose company she enjoyed. Jasper cracked out another of his dad jokes that had the whole group laughing at its shittiness. She laughed along with them, and found herself hoping that, no matter how the show turned out, she would get to see these people again.

 

* * *

 

  
After they had finally finished tidying the apartment, and everyone had gone their separate ways, Clarke and Raven flopped onto the couch, exhausted. The two girls hadn't had a moment alone all day, but now that it was just them, Raven's weird behaviour became more apparent to Clarke. She hadn't looked Clarke in the eye all day, and she kept twisting her hands together. Maybe something had happened at the party? But before she got the chance to ask, Raven spoke, "Where were you last night? After I finished talking to Bellamy, I went back to the bar and you and Octavia were gone."  
"Oh, um, Octavia left without saying where she was going, and then-" Finn had come. Clarke knew the effect that name would have on Raven - hell, she knew from experience - and the last thing she wanted was to cause her friend unneccessary pain. But what else could she say?  
"And then..." Raven prompted, clearly waiting for a response. Clarke made up her mind.  
"And then I ran into Bellamy, and we got into an argument. I... It was... It just reminded me of the conversation I had with mum, and I... I kind of broke down." It was mostly true, she had gotten into an argument, but with Finn not Bellamy. And it had reminded her of some of the things her mum had said, and that was why she had gotten so upset.

"Broke down?" Raven said questioningly.  
"Well... I cried. Alot. On Bellamy. Then I fell asleep and I think he took me to my room. That's all I can remember." Clarke said, trying, and failing, to keep the blush from creeping onto her cheeks.  
"Where were you though? I looked for you but then-" she stopped abruptly. Clarke studied her friend's face. She looked nervous, anxious, and decidedly un-Raven- like.  
"Rae, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything." Clarke said, matter of factly. Raven shifted in her seat, then finally lifted her gaze to meet Clarke's. Clarke could see the guilt in her eyes.  
"I slept with someone last night, Roan, after I talked to Wells." she blurted out, then lowered her head. Clarke was momentarily shocked into silence. That did not sound like her best friend at all. And she had thought...

"I thought you were into Wells?" Clarke said it as a question. She had been so sure, but appartently she had also been wrong. Raven sighed, and rested her head in her hands.  
"I was, I am. Its just... I thought he was into me too? But last night I saw him, at the party. We had a moment... but then he just... kissed me on the cheek - the cheek!- and said he had to go. I thought... I don't know what I thought. I was just upset, I guess. I felt friend-zoned. And then I bumped into Roan... and.... yeah." Raven lifted her head and looked up at Clarke. Tears were brimmimg in her eyes.  
"Oh Rae, come here." Clarke opened her arms, inviting Raven in for a hug. She practically threw herself at Clarke, as the tears began streaming down her face.  
"Clarke... I don't know what to do! I don't know if I would be making a mistake if I told him, but maybe he  _is_ into me but he's scared of messing up our friendship too! I just can't tell. I've been trying to read him but... What do I do!" she sobbed.  
"Hey, hey, it's ok. It will all work out in the end." Clarke whispered soothingly, rubbing circles on Ravens back.

They stayed like that until Raven's eyes ran dry, and Clarkes tee-shirt was soaked with her tears.

 

* * *

 

 

"Get up Clarke!! The CW announced who was going to be in the show!! We HAVE to check the list RIGHT NOW! Get up!"  
Clarke blinked, looking up at Raven blearily.  
"What is the time? Is it before 6? Because then it's way too early." she croaked. Raven rolled her eyes.  
"Dont you want to see if you got the part? Come on" Raven said, dragging the duvet off Clarkes bed.  
Clarke grabbed at it, "Hey, give that back!"  
"Not until you come and see the list with me!" Raven sang, pulling the duvet further off Clarke's bed.  
"Ok, ok, I'm coming! Just stop stealing my duvet." Clarke grumbled, trying to frown. But it was impossible to keep a straight face when Raven was grinning so widely.

Clarke padded into the living room after Raven, her duvet wrapped around her. She was begining to feel butterflies in her stomach, but she pushed the anxious feeling down. She was either in the show or she wasn't. Nothing else could change that.

Raven had her laptop open, and she grabbed onto Clarke's hand as she pulled up the list, squeezing tightly. Clarke held her breath in anticipation as the page loaded. Raven's eyes were open wide, transfixed on the blank screen.

Then suddenly, "WE'RE IN!!" Raven screamed, probably waking up everyone on their floor. But Clarke was too excited to care, because right there, on the screen, it said she had gotten the role she had auditioned for: Eliza Taylor. Exhileration fizzed through her body, and she threw her arms around Raven's neck. Raven laughed excitedly, pulling Clarke to her feet and dancing around in cirlces.

"WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" Clarke cried, beaming at Raven _. They did it!!_

She quickly scanned the rest of the list. Bellamy had gotten Bob's role, Raven was Lindsey, and Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Harper, and Miller were also on the list. She recognised a few other names too; Lincoln, Monroe, Gina, Lexa and Anya had all gone to Clarke's high school, and there was Roan, Raven's hook-up.

And right there, at the very bottom, was Finn Collins as Thomas McDonell.

Shit.

Raven must have seen it too because she seemed to freeze next to Clarke.   
"Oh no. Oh no he doesn't get to ruin this for me. That fucking idiot, he can't-" she was clenching her jaw in frustration. "You know what, he doesn't deserve to have that kind of effect on me. I'm going to prove to him that I've moved on."  
Clarke could see the steel in her friend's eyes. There was no changing her mind.  
"How?" Clarke asked, tentatively. There are only so many ways of proving that you have moved on, and for most of them you actually have to have moved on. Clarke didn't want to offend her friend, but Raven had definitely not moved on.  
"By getting either a boyfriend or a girlfriend." She said it so finally, like it was blantantly obvious and Clarke really should have seen it coming. What she _did_ see coming was Raven's plan ending in disaster.  
"Okaaay, where are you going to find someone on such short notice?" Clarke asked, hoping it would make Raven see how ridiculous she was being.

There were so many things that could go wrong with her plan, and Clarke wasn't even entirely sure if it would have the effect Raven wanted. And the whole thing just seemed unneccessarily difficult.  
"I don't know, but I'll figure something out." Raven said confidently. Clarke could just see a disaster about to happen.  
"Okay, well how about we put this out of our minds for now. We both have work this morning and we should start getting ready." As if on cue, her alarm started beeping from her room.

Raven's idea would only end in her getting herself hurt, Clarke thought as she brushed her teeth. And she knew the only way to get Raven to change her mind was to slowly convince her over time...

Her phone buzzed; it was a message from Kane. _Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake, Octavia Blake and Lincoln Oakbridge are needed this afternoon at the studio. Be there at 4:30 pm_. Well that was quick. Clarke sighed. She would have to take time off work to be able to get there on time, and she _had_ known what she was signing up for, but it was still a hassle.

She walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen, where Raven was sitting, eating her breakfast.  
"I have to go to some sort of meeting this afternoon." Clarke said, holding up her phone so Raven could read the text.  
"Wow, that was fast." She commented.  
Clarke laughed, "Yeah, thats exactly what I thought." Raven grinned up at her.  
"So am I giving you a ride this morning?" she asked. Clarke grinned back,  
"Well now that you mention it..." she teased.

No matter what, Clarke was going to make this day a good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised this was a bit of a filler chapter, but I promise more Bellarke interactions soon!  
> And please comment if you think I should keep going, because I'm really lacking motivation at the moment and I don't want to write this if you don't want to read it. As I said earlier, this is my first ever fanfic and I'm still really nervous about how it's being recieved.  
> Thanks for reading!


	5. I'm Telling My Own Damn Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting with Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy and Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry about how long this chapter took to get up. I was so busy, and then I caught the flu so I was really tired and all my writing was crappy. So sorry about that. I hope this chapter is worth the wait!
> 
> And yes, I did start naming chapters after quotes from the TV show.

"You want to what!"

Clarke sighed, and put down her cup of coffee on the desk.  
"I want to finish early today, okay? It's really not that big of a deal." she said, exasperated.  
"Oh Miss Griffin, I can assure you that when lives are in the balance, it most certainly is a big deal!" Diana looked down on Clarke with an extremely unimpressed look on her face.  
"I'm just a nurse, nurses don't do life saving operations or anything. That's what doctors and surgeons are for. And besides, I think I'm long overdue for some time off." Clarke replied, rubbing her face. Why did everything have to be so difficult.

Diana made a 'hmph' sound, before looking down at her computer screen. "Alright Miss Griffin, what time would you like to leave?"  
"4 o'clock." Clarke said.  
"4 o'clock!! That's four and a half hours early!" Diana practically screeched. Clarke winced at the high pitched noise before saying "Yes. It is four and a half hours early. So have you authourised it yet or..?"  
"Alright, alright Miss Griffin. Keep your temper." Diana said, and Clarke had to keep from visibly rolling her eyes. God, was this woman serious?

"Now what, may I ask, is the reason that you are leaving at such an early hour?" Diana asked, finally handing over Clarke's leave pass.  
"It's none of your buisness." Clarke replied, taking the slip of paper and leaving the room.

Today had already been stressful enough what with Finn being in the show, and Raven proposing her absolutely ridiculous idea that Clarke was sure was going to end badly. She didn't need Diana making things worse. Not to mention her mother's initial reaction when Clarke had said she auditioned. Now that she is in it for sure, Abby was going to throw a fit.

Clarke sighed, and pushed all thoughts of stressful, awkward, and upsetting situations out of her mind. All those things could be dealt with later, when she had time to fully think it over. But now she had to be a nurse.

She was going to have a good day at work today. She was sure.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had a horrible day at work.

First, there had been the whole Diana situation, which had made Clarke a little irritable. Then some douchebag idiot called Murphy had come in and been incredibly rude to her. He had said, in his exact words, 'You're a nurse because you're a girl. Obviously, you can't be a doctor because you wouldn't be good enough'. That had made Clarke a lot more than just irritable. Then, to top things off, Abby had texted Clarke, saying that she wanted to come talk to her after work.

Clarke still hadn't replied.

Now it was 4:15, and she was waiting outside the studio doors for someone to show up and let her in. Because of course it looked like it was about to rain, and even if it didn't, the cutting wind would be reason enough to not go outside at all today. And she was only wearing scrubs with a thin jersey thrown on top. She was practically an iceblock.

Today would've topped her list of worst days ever, even if she hadn't been looking forward to an awkward conversation with Bellamy.

"Hello?" a voice called from Clarke's left, and she turned to see Kane standing beside an open doorway. She could almost see the warmth radiating from inside.  
"Um, hi. Sorry I'm a little early." she said through chattering teeth.  
Kane stepped forwards, "That's fine. You look a little chilly though-"  
Clarke barked out a sharp laugh, "Yeah, just a little chilly," she said, before realising that this was her new boss and first impressions mattered. "Uh, sorry. I've had a really bad day." Kane just smiles, and gestures at the open doorway.  
"Well, at least it can only improve then." he replied, and Clarke followed him inside.

It really was so much warmer inside, and Kane got a couple of chairs for her and the others, when they arrived, to sit in while they waited. She was still about 10 minutes early though, so she got out her phone and opened her favourite fan-fiction website. She was halfway through a story, and she really wanted to finish it.

Clarke was so absorbed in her reading, that she didn't even notice when the Blake siblings arrived, until Octavia sat down next to her and said, "Hey Clarke!"  
Clarke jumped a little, and made Octavia laugh.  
"Oh, hey Octavia. Sorry I didn't see you come in." she said, putting her phone away. Then she looked up, and saw Bellamy. His adorably messy hair was even more adorably messy from the wind, and it just made Clarke want to run her hand through it, feel the silky curls between her fingers...  
"Hi Bellamy." she said, her voice slightly off as she tried to fight the blush creeping onto her cheeks. Last time she had seen him, she had cried all over him. Then fallen asleep on him. Heat rushed to her cheeks. Embarrassing was an understatement.

"Hi Clarke." he said, offering a small smile, and Clarke couldn't help but remember the note he'd left her, along with the water and aspirin. She smiled back.

"What do you think the meeting is going to be about?" Octavia asked, and Clarke tore her attention from Bellamy, back to Octavia.  
"I hadn't really thought about it, but maybe it's just Kane wanting to talk to us about schedules? Or maybe he has some questions? I'm honestly not really sure." she said. Now that Octavia had mentioned it, Clarke was curious. It could be any number of things.

"I was thinking maybe paperwork? But yeah, I don't really know." Octavia said. Bellamy opened his mouth as if to speak, but before he got a chance, the door swung open. All three of them turned their heads, to see a tall, tan, muscular man walk in. His hair was dark, dark brown, close cropped, which only emphasised his huge biceps. Ink swirled over his arms, and disappeared under his tight, white tee shirt. But his eyes had a softness to them. A deep kindness and compassion that so many people lacked. Clarke couldn't help but stare, open-mouthed, as he approached them.

Bellamy cleared his throat.

"Lincoln!" Octavia sprang up from her seat, and ran over to throw herself into his arms. He grinned down at her, amusement lighting his eyes. Damn, it looked like he was taken.  
"Hey Octavia, how are you?" his deep voice rumbled through the corridor.

"You two know each other?" Bellamy said loudly from beside Clarke. He did not look impressed.  
"Bell, this is Lincoln. I met him at the pre-cast party." Octavia said, detatching herself from Lincoln, and meeting Bellamy's cold stare with one of her own.

But all Bellamy said was "I see." before sitting down in Octavia's vacated seat. Octavia scoffed and turned her back to talk to Lincoln. Clarke tried not to be hyper aware of how close Bellamy was.

"He has some nerve coming in here like that." Bellamy said darkly, glaring at Octavia's back.  
"Bellamy, he's in the show as well, he had to come." Clarke said gently. She didn't want to upset him, but it was true. Lincoln and Octavia would be seeing a lot of each other.

"I know, I know, but it's just... she's my sister." he said, as if that explained exactly how he felt. It probably did, but Clarke wouldn't know. She felt a pang of sadness, but pushed down quickly. Now was not the time.  
Bellamy combed a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "I know she's old enough to make desicions on her own, but everytime I look at her, I still see the little 5 year old girl she was. And I just- I try to let her do things without... I try." He looked so upset, Clarke couldn't help but lift her hand to rest it on his shoulder.

"We're all trying. We're all doing the best we can to protect our people." she murmured, as much for herself as for Bellamy.

He lifted his head to look at her, giving her a sheepish smile tinged with sadness. "Sorry to dump all that on you. I barely know you." he said.  
Clarke just laughed, "Consider it a favour returned. After all, I did the same to you on Saturday."  
Bellamy smiled at that.  
"Yeah, there's just something about you that makes me feel... like I can trust you." he whispered.  
Clarke dropped her voice to match his.  
"I know what you mean." she murmured. He smiled softly at her. She smiled back.

Suddenly, the door beside them swung open to reveal Kane.  
"Ok it looks like everyone's here, which is good. Come on in."  
Clarke jumped, turning in her chair to look away from Bellamy. She didn't know why she felt so guilty.

 

* * *

 

 

"Most of you are probably wondering what this is about, why it's so soon, and why it's only the four of you." Kane had them seated around a desk in an office that presumably belonged to him.  
"Well, first things first, I called you here to give you some background information on your characters, and how they are going to interact and develop through the series. This isn't something that most producers do, but I'm not most producers. I believe it will help you act if you know how everything will pan out in the end. Why you? Because your characters most need it."  
Clarke and Octavia shared confused glances.

"The main storyline has most of your characters - except for Octavia and Bellamy - seperate from each others lives. But one day, all four of you, as well as some others, all go to the same cafe, and then there's a nuclear bomb warning so all of you have to go to the nearest underground bunker. The bomb hits, and projections show that air wont be clean for at least 15 months. The story is about your characters survivng underground, and adapting to the change."

"So why is it just us four here then?" Lincoln asked. Kanes eyes were alight, as he replied, "I was just getting to that. Clarke, you and Octavia pretty much instantly hit it off." The two girls exchanged a wide eyed look "Eventually, you hook up but Bellamy, being the protective older brother, starts looking out for Clarke, to check if she's 'good enough' for his sister. But after a week, you two figure out that it wont work, then Octavia, or should I say Marie, falls for Lincoln, or Ricky."

"Well, why am I here? None of this is essential to my storyline." Bellamy interuptted, a hint of sarcasm laced through his voice. Clarke ducked her head to hide a smile.

"Patience Bellamy, I'm getting there. So where was I? Ok, Marie and Ricky get together, and Eliza tries not be upset, but Bob, who had been 'looking out for Eliza' notices. They become friends, then fall in love, but they take a long time to realise it. So you two," Kane points at Clarke and Bellamy, "Are the endgame, okay? You have to build up the romance, but do it slowly, subtley, so the viewers recognise potential, but they are still kept in suspense. You are the main characters, so you will have to do this well. People _will_ notice. You think you're up for it?"

Bellamy smiled grimly. "Do we have a choice?"

Kane laughed a little. "I suppose not. Good luck. And that's all I wanted to talk about for today, so if you have any questions now would be a good time."

Everyone shook their heads.

"Okay, I'll see you all later." He said, gesturing towards the door.

Clarke followed Bellamy out, feeling slightly dazed. She had thought Bob and Eliza were just good friends, based on the audition. But apparently it was more than that. She had to act like she was in love with him, but didn't realise it yet. Somehow, she didn't think that would be too difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might have noticed that in the previous chapter, I changed Ravens plan from getting a 'boyfriend' to getting 'some one else'. I know it's not really a major changed but I just thought I should let you know. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and as always comments/kudos will be greatly appreciated!


	6. You Came Through; I Knew You Would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about not updating for so long. I promise that from now on I wont keep you guys hanging for that amount of time again. At least one chapter every 2 weeks.  
> Aside from that, I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

"What was the meeting about?" Raven asked as soon as Clarke stepped through the door of their apartment.  
Clarke rolled her eyes, "I'm okay, thanks for asking." Raven squinted at her, then beckoned for her to come over and sit next to her on the couch.  
"You don't look okay, come talk to me."  
Clarke sighed to hide her smile. Raven always knew just what to do.

"I just had a bad day at work." Clarke mumbled as she settled next to Raven on the couch. Raven frowned sympathetically.  
"What happened? Was it something specific or are you just over it?" Raven asked softly.  
Clarke tipped her head back, resting it on top of the couch, "Just over it."  
"Aww, Clarke. I know you like helping people out, but maybe this just isn't the job for you. I'm your best friend, Clarke, and I only want what's best for you. And I just dont think being a nurse does it for you anymore." Raven rested her hand on Clarke's shoulder, "Maybe it's time to try something new." Raven finished softly.

Maybe Raven was right. For the past week, she had come back from work either exhausted or in a bad mood. And she had been finding it hard to enjoy herself. I just wasn't like how it used to be, when she would wake up looking forward to work. It might be the time to change.

"We have to take time off from work to do the show, so maybe you could just take that time to step back, have a look, and make a desicion. You have time." Raven whispered. Clarke gave her a watery smile.  
"Thanks Rae. Sometimes I wonder if you know me better than I know myself." Clarke replied. Raven laughed and patted Clarke's shoulder.  
"I wonder too. So, the meeting." Raven looked at Clarke expectantly.  
"Oh, uh yeah. Actually, the meeting was just to give us some background information on our characters." Clarke said, glad for the change of subject.  
"Ooohhh, so did you get to hear about Octavia's character too?" Raven leaned in. Clarke had to laugh at her eagerness.  
"Yeah. Actually, all four characters are linked so-"  
"How are they linked?" Raven interupted, excitedly. Her smile was contagious.  
"Well, the whole show is about how there's some nuclear war going on, and all of us are trapped inside a bunker." Clarke said, still grinning, "We all meet for the first time there, except for Bellamy and Octavia, obviously."

"Come on Clarke, get to the point." Raven interupted.  
"Okay, okay, so me and Octavia hook up." Clarke grinned at her friend.  
"What! Okay, I did not see that coming." Raven laughed.  
Clarke smiled wider, "Well it gets better. Eventually Octavia and I decide it won't work out and we break it off. Then she hits it off with Lincoln."  
"Yeah, I could see that one coming. They have such good... _Chemistry_." Raven winked at Clarke.  
"Shush, you're interupting" Clarke laughed, "So, it turns out that while Octavia and I were together, Bellamy had been, I don't know, judging me? But not in a rude way. Kind of. It was just so he could see if I was good enough for O or something. But then after we break up, Bellamy and I become sort of like friends, then the relationship progresses throughout the show. Apparently, him and I are the 'endgame'."  
"Damn girl, that's so cool! It's kind of like your little secret. So did you guys talk about it after?" Raven asked, eagerly.  
"Uhh, no, not really. Everyone just sort of left." Clarke frowned. Maybe it was something they should talk about. But then again, it could just end up being super awkward.

"Isn't it going to be kind of hard to act out the whole, progressing relationship with Bellamy thing?" Raven aksed.  
Clarke looked down at her hands before answering, "Yeah, I guess so."

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke stood outside the doors to the hospital. It was windy outside, and her hair was blowing in her face. Behind her, people walked past to their own jobs, or maybe to get breakfast. Some of them probably looked forward to their work. Clarke wasn't one of them.

She couldn't pinpoint the exact day when the prospect of her job made her stomach heavy with dread, but she knew it had been a while now.  
At one point, she had woken up in the morning excited to get to the hospital. She had loved nursing, loved helping people, loved watching the doctors perform their magic. She still did love helping people, and the way the doctors fixed people up was fascinating, but... It just wasn't as great as it used to be. Maybe she'd changed, or maybe nursing has become something she associated with her and her mother's spectacular arguments (it has), or maybe it's even the people she works with. Maybe it's all three. But that didn't change the fact that she no longer enjoyed it.

But it was still her job. She took a deep breath, before stepping inside.

Diana instantly looked up.  
"Miss Griffin, your mother came yesterday after your _usual_  finishing time asking where you were." she said, looking at Clarke the way she would look at a naughty child. Clarke scowled.  
"Well next time, tell her I don't want to see her." Clarke said, moving as if to walk past Diana's desk.  
"Uh uh uh, not so fast Clarke. She wanted me to pass on a message." Diana chided. Clarke's scowl deepened further. She was sick of being treaded like a kid.  
"Well I don't want to hear it." Clarke said tightly, walking towards the door.  
"Well, Clarke, I really think you should. After all, your mother-"  
Clarke slammed the door behind her. Diana really didn't know when to back off, and over the past few weeks, it had really been getting on Clarke's nerves.

She walked to the main staff area, and took a few deep breaths to calm down. Diana wasn't going to ruin her day. She would take a back exit if she had to. Clarke sat on one of the large white sofas in the middle of the room.

"Miss Griffin." a stern voice sounded from behind her.  
"Dr Byrne." Clarke said, turning towards the noise, "Is there anything you need me to do? Any doctors who need my help?" she asked, eager for something that would take up all her focus.

Dr Byrne cleared her throat, "I was actually going to ask you if you would start cleaning store room 2a. No one else is willing to do it, and we don't have many patients at the moment-"  
"Cleaning? Don't we have other staff for that? I'm a nurse, shouldn't I be helping people who need it instead of cleaning a store room?" Clarke said. The whole reason she had agreed to go to med school was because it meant she could help others out. But now here she was, being asked to go do the cleaning. She was _really_  starting to hate her job now.  
"Miss Griffin. If there was any work you could do with patients, I would have given it to you."

Just at that moment, Dr Tsing walked through the door.  
"Dr Byrne, when will Mr Wallace be arriving? I will be needing his help with a patient soon." she said. Dr Byrne looked away from Clarke, focusing her full attention on Dr Tsing, "He will be arriving shortly, thank you Dr Tsing." she said, slowly.  
Dr Tsing walked back out the door.

"What the fuck?" Clarke said. She could feel the anger rising in her gut.  
"Watch your language Miss Griffin." said Byrne. Clarke chose to ignore that last comment.  
"What was that about? And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." Clarke practically growled.  
"Dante Wallace is more experienced-"  
"Yeah, but he isn't even here. I could go and help Dr Tsing right now, and her patient wouldn't have to wait any longer, but instead you have me go do some cleaning while you give the job to someone who is running late on the grounds that he is 'more experienced'?" Clarke said, her voice raising higher and higher.  
"Please Miss Griffin, I only want what's best for the patients." Clarke felt like screaming.  
"Yeah, and getting me out the picture is the way to do that? What, am I just so bad, or 'inexperienced', that I can't properly look after a patient?" She could feel the backs of her eyes stinging.  
"Clarke. Please understand that our patients prefer experienced staff-"  
"So they don't want me? How am I going to get experience of you don't give me the chance to get any? What's the point of me being here if I can't help? There isn't one!" she cried. By now, and audience had gathered around to watch. Clarke couldn't care less.  
Dr Byrne was glancing nervously around at the crowd, "Clarke. We do need our staff, and that does include you."  
"Really? Because right now it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. And if I'm not going to be appreciated here, then maybe I should go somewhere else." Clarke shouted. She could feel the heat in her cheecks like fire, and she fought desperately to keep back the tears.  
"What are you suggesting, Miss Griffin?" said Byrne, clearly shocked at Clarke's words.  
"I quit!" Clarke said, before turning on her heel and marching out of the room, leaving a crowd of shocked faces behind her.

She walked purposefully down the hallway, swiping at the few stray tears that were marking her cheeks. She felt both parts relieved and horrified. She didn't even dare to think about what her mother's reaction might be.

As soon as Clarke walked into the reception area, Diana asked "Miss Griffin, where are you going?" Clarke knew couldn't deal with another conversation with this woman right now.  
"Diana, I hope I never have to see you again you fucking bitch" she said, and walked straight past her desk and out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke managed to drive all the way to the park without crying. That was as long as it lasted.  
Tears had blurred her vision as she had reached for her sketchpad and her pencil. Her hands had shook as she carried both across the grass, to her favourite bench. Her body had heaved with sobs as she had sat on the bench, staring down at her lap. Now here she was.

She furiously yanked one her pencils out of the packet, and shoved aside pages in her sketch book until she reached the first blank page. Blank. How she wanted to feel right now. But she didn't.

She brought the pencil down to the paper. Hard. She dragged it across the page. When she reached the other side, she did it again. And again and again and again. She took all her anger, all her frustration, all her pent up feelings, all of it out on that one page. She drew and drew until there was nothing left, and then she drew more. Line after line. Time passed, she didn't know how much. Nothing except the graphite dragging against the paper mattered. Not in this moment. Not until...

"Princess, hey - wait, are you okay?" Clarke looked up to see Bellamy, heading towards her. She quickly wiped her eyes, but she knew it would do no good to hide the tears.  
"Hi Bellamy." she croaked as he sat next to her.  
"Clarke, what's the matter?" he asked gently. Clarke almost started crying again.  
"I quit my job." she said, the words rough from her raw throat. She wrapped her arms around herself, and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to keep the tears back. Bellamy made a sympathetic noise, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, letting herself cling to his shirt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, tightening his arm around her. Clarke buried her face in his side.  
"I was a nurse at Arkton hospital, but it mostly because of my mums expectations. She always wanted me to do something 'worthwhile', so I thought nursing would be enough. It was, and at first I did enjoy it... but not anymore. I don't know why Bellamy, I feel like I should. Why would I not like helping people? Is there something wrong-" The last words don't make it past the lump in Clarke' s throat. She pushed herself closer to Bellamy.

"Oh, Clarke. There's nothing wrong with you. Nursing isn't the only way you could help people, and anyway, if you're not enjoying giving help, then people won't enjoy recieving it." Bellamy said, as he began rubbing circles on her back, "There's nothing wrong with you." Clarke stayed in his embrace for a while, before finally lifting her head to look at him.  
"We should really stop meeting like this" she said. Bellamy gave a short, suprised laugh.  
"What are you doing here anyway?" she sniffled, "I hope it wasn't anything important."

Bellamy gave her a sad little smile, "No, it wasn't important. Actually, I just wanted to get away from things." he said.  
"Well what things?" Clarke asked, resting her head on his chest again, "You let me cry all over you, now it's your turn to dump it all on me." Bellamy sighed, and started rubbing her back again.  
"It's probably stupid. I'm just... worrying about things that are out of my control." he mumbled. Clarke started tracing patterns on his thigh.  
"It's okay to talk about it Bellamy. We all worry about stupid things sometimes." she whispered.  
Bellamy sighed again. "It's O. Well, her and Lincoln, and... I was hoping I wouldn't have to worry about the whole dating thing for a little longer. Everytime I look at her, I still see the little girl she used to be. Or I just see all the ways she could get hurt. She doesn't deserve to get hurt Clarke, but some people don't care about that and there's nothing I can do..."

Clarke reached her arms up to give him a hug, and he instantly pulled her closer, almost onto his lap. "And I just don't want to lose her." he whispered into her hair. Clarke tightened her arms around his neck, as he squeezed her waist.  
"It's okay Bellamy. Octavia won't leave you. She won't" Clarke murmured sweet nothings into his neck.

They stayed like that until the sun went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one! I've been dying to write some cute Bellarke scenes, so I was really excited about this one! Please tell me your thoughts, and I promise for more Bellarke soon.  
> Also, kudos and comments are my fuel, so the more I get the faster I write! <3


	7. Keep Doing That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day on set. Clarke runs into Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I think I'm giving up on an update day, but that's not to say I'll make you guys wait for ages! I'm trying to get these updates done as quickly as I can, but I'm quite a busy person and high school is quite demanding.  
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter : )

"Go, go, go! Quick, this way!" Raven yelled, running towards a small concrete building with a heavy steel door. Clarke sprinted forwards, her hair streaming behind her. She had to get to that door. Mud was splashing up onto her new jeans. Her breath tore raggedly from her dry throat. But all that mattered was what was behind the door.

Raven reached the building, and grabbed onto the handle. "Help me open it!" she cried, tugging viciously at the dull metal. Clarke sped up, desperate to get to Raven and help her. She was so close. Someone else was at the door now, pulling the handle alongside Raven. Clarke finally reached them, panting heavily. She wrapped her hand around a piece of steel, heaving against the unrelenting door.

Finally, a loud groan sounded as the door slowly swung open, revealing a concrete staircase. She looked up at Raven and smiled...  
"Cut! That was amazing! Okay, you guys get a 10 minute break, and then we're straight back into it!" Kane shouted from behind the cameras.

Raven was panting beside her, as Clarke turned to look at the view The set was situated in a large clearing in the middle of Fiordland National Park, only a half hour drive from Arkton; the scenery was incredible. Crystal blue estuarys nestled between emerald green mountains tipped with snow. Swooping peaks created a border between the clear blue sky and the dark forests below.  
"This place is gorgeous." stated Monty, looking around with an awestruck expression. Clarke nodded her head in agreement, taking in the view.

"Hey Clarke, hey Raven, Monty" Octavia walked up behind them, pulling Lincoln along with her, "Aren't you guys super excited? I am! And maybe a little nervous too, but I'm sure I'll get over it." she said happily. Lincoln laughed.  
"Yes, I'm sure you will." he said, before brushing a kiss onto her forehead.

As if on cue, Bellamy walked over to join them, glaring at Lincoln. Octavia frowned at him, warning him off, and he quickly looked away.  
"Hey Bellamy!" said Raven. Clarke shot a look at her friend. Raven was biting her lip, smiling at Bellamy through her lashes. Clarke frowned slightly; Raven didn't do things like that unless she was looking for a hookup.... or a boyfriend.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

"Hey Raven." Bellamy replied, looking over at the brunette. He raised his eyebrows slightly at her, but she just smiled sweetly back at him. Then his gaze settled on Clarke, and a smile broke out across his face. She couldn't help but return it.  
"Hey Clarke, welcome to your new job." he grinned, spreading his arms to indicate the set. Her eyes followed his gesture, scanning the area. That was when she saw Finn.

She had known theoretically that Finn would be here, and she had subconciously braced herself for seeing him. But when it came into practice? She was no where near ready to face him again. It must've shown on her face, because Bellamy frowned slightly, before following her gaze. Recognition lit his features, and he turned back to look worriedly at Raven. _He must know Raven's side of the story._

She looked back over at Finn, who was talking to few other cast members. He hadn't seen her yet, and she wanted it to stay that way.  
"I, I just need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back soon." she stuttered, before turning around and quickly walking away from Finn. She had only gotten a few metres away, before she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  
"The toilets are the other way, Princess."  
Clarke turned to see Bellamy looking down at her, concern written across his features.  
"Oh, oops... I guess I'll just-" She moved as if to walk the other way, but Bellamy stopped her with a firm "Clarke."  
She stopped and looked up, meeting his eyes.  
"What's wrong? Is it about what Finn did to Raven?" he asked gently, resting his hands on her shoulders. Clarke closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. A mixture of dread, anxiety, and guilt lay heavy in her stomach.  
"Something like that." Clarke mumbled.

"Clarke, you can tell me." he said, and somehow, Clarke knew she could. Because even though they had only known each other for a short amount of time, she trusted him. And it scared her.  
"What do you know about him?" Clarke asked, her eyes still closed.  
"Finn? I know he broke Ravens heart. Um, I think Raven had to go do a project overseas, but she wasn't allowed to contact anyone for three months, including Finn. But when she got back, Finn was dating some other girl. Apparently Finn thought she had found someone new or something? So he assumed it was over." Bellamy sighed, "It's such a weak excuse. If I had someone like Raven, I would never give up on her that easily."

Suddenly, the urge to cry grew almost irresitible.

"That other girl must have really been something." he said absentmindedly. Clarke felt her heart clench.  
"Yeah, really something." she mumbled.  
"Hey, are you okay?" Bellamy put his hand under her chin, gently tilting her face up. "Look at me."  
She slowly opened her eyes, and looked up to meet his gaze. She took in the softness of his features, the concern in his eyes. Such a contrast to the first time she had seen him, when he had been so imposing and intimidating.

"It was me." she whispered, her eyes still on his. He frowned slightly.  
"What was you, Clarke?" he asked softly.  
"I was the other woman, I was the one Finn cheated on Raven with. I-I didn't know, but... but I was still the one who broke Ravens heart. I _am_ still the one who--- And everytime I see him, it reminds me.." she said, fighting against the lump in her throat. Bellamy wordlessly pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping both his arms around her shoulders and crushing her to his chest.

She managed to keep any tears from escaping and ruining her makeup, but that wasn't to say it was easy.  
"Bellamy?" Clarke said after a while, and Bellamy pulled back a little so he could look at her.  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you... will you protect me from him?" Clarke said with a small voice. Had it been anyone else, Clarke wouldn't have asked because... it made her feel weak. But... But this was _Bellamy_. She knew he could protect her.  
"Of course." he said softly, pulling her back in and stroking her hair. She let out a soft, contented sigh, as she relaxed against him. She knew she could face Finn now, with Bellamy by her side. She nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his scent. She could face anything if he was with her.

She stayed in his embrace for a while longer, before saying, "Shouldn't we be getting back to filmimg? Kane only gave us 10 minutes." Bellamy reluctantly pulled back.  
"Yeah." he agreed, but before she could turn around, he placed his hand on her shoulder again, "And Clarke? What Finn did wasn't your fault. I know you wouldn't have even thought about dating him if you had known." he said, before letting go of her and turning to walk back to the set.

Clarke stood there for a couple of seconds, thinking about what had just happened, before running to catch up to him. When she reached him and slid her hand into his, he just kept walking.  
But she felt his hand tighten around hers.

 

* * *

 

 

"2 minutes left!" Kane's voice carried across the set as Clarke and Bellamy rejoined the group they had left.  
"Hey, where were you guys?" Raven asked, looking up at Bellamy and smiling. Clarke tightened her jaw.  
"Uhh," Bellamy looked down at his and Clarke linked hands hidden behind their jackets, then to Clarkes eyes. "We were just talking." he said, and Clarke looked over at Raven to watch her reaction.  
"What about?" Raven asked, blinking up at him. She hadn't even looked at Clarke yet.  
"Just... Stuff. The show, I guess." he replied, and Clarke silently thanked him.  
"Well, you know you're always welcome to talk to me about anything." Raven said sweetly. Clarke tightened her grip on Bellamy's hand, but instantly regretted it when Bellamy started, and whipped his head around to look worriedly at her. She tried not to blush.  
"What?" Raven said, finally looking at Clarke, "What happened?" Clarke pushed down the desire to glare at her best friend.

But they were saved from answering when Finn slipped in next to Clarke, "Princess." he drawled, moving as if to place a hand on her shoulder. Clarke visibly flinched at his voice, intinctively moving closer to Bellamy.  
"Finn." Raven hissed, and Finn's cocky smile quickly faded as he took in Ravens fiery expression.  
"Hey, I just want to talk to Clarke." he said, holding his hands up. Clarke felt a shock go through her body. No way was she going to let this happen again.  
"You had your chance." she said through gritted teeth. She was almost vibrating with anger, but then she felt Bellamy rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.  
"I'm here." he murmured into her hair. She took a deep breath.  
"You had your chance Finn; and you ruined it. It's over, Okay? There's no changing my mind." she said calmly, drawing strength from Bellamy's presence.

"Come on, Clarke. You didn't let me finish last time-"  
"You heard her." Bellamy growled. Clarke could feel the vibration of his voice on her back.  
Finn glared at Bellamy, "Hey, this is none of your buisness-"  
"Get the hell away from us, Finn." Raven said, dangerously low. Finn looked around at their faces, taking in their angry expressions. He was clearly pissed off about being turned down, but he turned around and walked off.

Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath; she could still feel Bellamy rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, and she let it calm her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Raven looking at her, eyebrows raised.  
Clarke frowned, a question in her eyes. The question was answered when Raven flicked her gaze up to Bellamy, then back down to her. It was then Clarke realised that she was still pressed up against Bellamy, their joined hands now in plain view.

She quickly stepped forwards, dropping his hand, and she could've sworn she heard Bellamy sigh in dissapointment. But it was too late, the damage was done. Raven smirked at Clarke. Clarke opened her mouth to say something, but she was interupted by Kane's voice, "Okay, break's over. I need everyone over here so we can start the next scene."

 

Raven didn't flirt with Bellamy for the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

 

"Oh my god, why didn't you tell me!?" Raven said as soon as Clarke closed the door to her car.  
"Tell you what?" Clarke asked, feeling slightly distracted. Kane had just told her and Octavia that they would be doing their scene the next day. She was feeling a mixture of nerves, apprehension and excitement.  
"About Bellamy! I was totally hitting on him, and I didn't even think about you! Clarke, you have to tell me these things otherwise situations like this could happen again. We both have the same taste when it comes to love interests, you know that." Raven said, but Clarke was still stuck on the Bellamy part.  
"Raven, there isn't anything to tell about Bellamy. We're just friends." Clarke said.  
"Uh huh. We'll see how long that lasts." Raven said, and Clarke glared at her friend.  
"Raven." she said sternly, and the other girl rolled her eyes, but she knew when to back down.

"Okay, sure. Now lets get back to the apartment."

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke went to bed that night feeling happy, content, and mostly excited for the day to come, feelings she hadn't felt in a long time. She lay under her covers, staring up at the ceiling, and contemplating. She knew she had the TV show to thank for half of it, but she also knew the other half had a name and a face.

She just didn't want to examine that part too closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! And also, get ready for some drama with Octavia in the next chapter! ; )


	8. I Went to All That Trouble to Save You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while, but this one is a little longer than most of my other chapters. And I've changed my mind again, I will try to update on Sunday every fortnight, try being the keyword. Yeah sorry, and I hope you all enjoy!

"How much longer do I have to keep my eyes closed for?" Octavia giggled, fiddling with the seatbelt strap.  
"Not long now." Lincoln said from the drivers seat, and Octavia could hear the smile in his voice.

20 minutes earlier, Lincoln had arrived on Octavia's doorstep without warning, claiming that he had a surprise in store for her. But there was a catch; she had to keep her eyes closed for the whole car trip.  
"You know, Bell said that you could be a serial killer, and this isn't exactly helping to convince me otherwise." she teased, keeping her eyes squeezed shut.  
"Believe me, if I were a serial killer you would be dead already." Lincoln replied without hesitation.  
"Reassuring." Octavia mumbled, earning a laugh from Lincoln. She couldn't stop the goofy smile from spreading across her face.

The car suddenly slowed, then turned a corner. "We're almost there." Lincoln said, and Octavia could hear the suppressed excitment laced through his voice. A good kind of apprehension filled her as they drew closer to their destination.

"Okay, we're here now, but you can't open your eyes just yet." he said as the car stopped, and a sudden, happy excitment filled her. What could it be? Where had he taken her? It was 7:30 pm, so maybe he had taken her somewhere for dinner? But there were no other sounds aside from Lincoln climbing out of the car and closing the door behind him. No, it wasn't a restaurant, or even somewhere in the city. So where were they?  
She heard her door open, then Lincoln's voice saying "Okay, I'm going to help you out of the car but you still can't open your eyes." She tried to sigh in exasperation, but the wide grin on her face made the attempt redundant.

She managed to get out of the car with minimal damage, and tried not trip as Lincoln guided her forwards. When they stopped, and Lincoln finally said "You can open your eyes now", Octavia was practically buzzing. But when she finally opened her eyes, her excitment was instantly replaced by a dumbstruck awe, because before her, lay Arkton in it's entirety. A collection of lights surrounded by the blanket of Ark Forest. The sky above was painted with smears of pink, orange, gold and navy, as the brilliant sun sunk slowly to hide behind the wall of impressive mountains surrounding the entire scene. Billowy white clouds danced through the sky, leaving wisps and patterns in their wake, as the birds in the trees sung into the neverending dusk.

"Wow" Octavia breathed, still drinking in the awe-inspiring scene. She took a deep breath of the sweet, clean mountain air, before suddenly a feeling of overwhelming happiness bubbled up inside her. She felt so _free_.  
"It's quite something, isn't it." Lincoln murmured from behind her, and Octavia whirled around and almost jumped into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and bringing his mouth down to meet hers. She kissed him energetically, happily, passionately and he matched her energy, kissing her back just as hard. It didn't take long for the kiss to turn hot and sloppy, Octavia sucking Lincoln's bottom lip into her mouth, making him moan.

"Octavia, baby" Lincoln said breathlessly as Octavia moved her lips from his mouth to his cheek, his jawline, his neck...  
"Mmmmm, okay, this needs to go." she frowned, tugging at his shirt. Lincoln grinned and lifted it over his head, while Octavia admired the view. But it didn't last long because as soon as the shirt left his hand, Lincoln was pulling Octavia back in and kissing her with a fire that made something stir deep inside her.

"Don't stop." she moaned as he pulled back to lift her top off.

He didn't.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke cracked her eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright light streaming in through the curtains. Something had woken her up. She rolled over onto her side, looking at her alarm clock perched on her bedside table. 6:30. Way too early. Today filming only started at 1:30 pm so she could finally have a sleep in.

She snuggled deeper into her covers and shut her eyes, trying to get back to sleep. Then her phone buzzed. She groaned and pulled the covers over her head, deciding to ignore it. Whoever it was, was going to have to wait until a resonable hour when she was a fully functioning human.

It buzzed again. Clarke turned over, and wriggled deeper into her blankets, hoping the noise would just stop so she could sleep. It didn't.

Clarke heaved an impressive sigh (it was a shame no one was around to hear it, really) and sat up in her bed, reaching for her phone. She really hoped it was important, and not just Raven asking where the shampoo was, or Octavia asking her for advice about Lincoln, or, God forbid, Finn trying to talk to her again. She really wasn't in the mood.

But it wasn't Raven, or Octavia, or even Finn. It was Bellamy.

 _Hey Clarke, I'm really sorry to text you so early but Octavia isn't here._  
_I was wondering is she was with you?_

 _Clarke, sorry again, but none of her other friends know where she is._  
_Please get back to me as soon as you can._

 _No one else from the show knows where she is either._  
_Clarke? Please answer, I'm starting to worry._

 _I've messaged everyone I know, and no one has seen her anywhere._  
_Clarke!!? Please reply!! I'm starting to panic._

Worry clenched her chest. Octavia wasn't with her either.

 _She isn't here, I'm sorry._  
_Are you sure you've tried everyone?_  
_How about calling her?_

His reply comes instantly.

 _I'm sure._  
_I've called her 10 times, and she still hasn't answered._  
_You could try, she might answer you._  
_Please?_

_Yes of course._

Worry was singing through Clarke's veins, making her awake and alert. Thoughts raced through her mind as she quickly selected Octavia's contact and pressed the call button. Where did Octavia like to go? Where could she have stayed? Where had Clarke last seen her? Why hadn't she told anyone where she had gone? What if something had happened- No. No, Clarke couldn't think that.

She waited in tense silence as her phone connected the call, and started ringing. It went to the answer phone. She tried again, desperately hoping that Octavia would pick up. No such luck.

_I tried, but she didn't answer._

_Do you remember when you last saw her?_

_Yesterday when Kane told us we were doing our scene._  
_Did she go back to your guys' house with you?_

 _No I had to work the evening shift at the cafe._  
_Did she say anything about doing something after the show?_

Clarke wracked her brains. Had Octavia said anything to her? They had been talking about their jobs, and Octavia had said how she was still in university, and she had an unfinished essay due the next day-

 _Clarke, I'm scared._  
_What if something happened to her?_  
_What if she's hurt?_

_Hey, we're going to find her._

_Bellamy, listen to me. We are going to find her._

_Last night she was talking about an essay she had to finish._  
_Is there somewhere she likes to go to study?_

 _Yes!_  
_The new 24/7 library._  
_They have this place where you can sit that's like an indoor forest._  
_O loves it there._

_Okay, meet you there in 20._

_Okay._

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe Octavia fell asleep there or something. Hopefully.

She threw on jeans and a tank top, quickly braided her hair back, and headed to the kitchen for a bite to eat. Raven wasn't up yet, so Clarke scribbled a hasty note and left it on the counter, before grabbing her keys, and as an after thought, grabbing an apple for Bellamy. He probably hadn't eaten yet. She rushed out the door and took the stairs two at a time. Hopefully Octavia had just lost track of time while she was studying.

Hopefully.

 

* * *

 

 

When she arrived, 5 minutes early, Bellamy was already there, pacing back and forth infront of the library. His hair was a mess, and she was pretty sure his shirt was inside out. He looked up as she approached, and she could clearly see the worry etched across his face.  
"Hey Clarke." he said, running a hand through his dishevelled curls.  
"Hi, I um, I brought you this." she replied, holding out the apple. Bellamy looked from her, to the apple, and back again before stepping in and pulling her into a crushing hug. She let out a small, suprised noise, but instantly relaxed against him, hugging back just as tight.  
"Thank you for coming." he mumbled into her shoulder, and she tightened her hold on him in response.  
"Of course Bellamy. She would do the same for me."

They stayed in each others embrace for a beat, before breaking apart and turning towards the library.  
"You still have to eat the apple though." Clarke said and Bellamy snorted. But he took the apple and bit into it without further complaint.

"Okay, I haven't been here before so you'll have to show the way." Clarke said, gesturing at the library. She never really had time to go out and visit places like the library or the museum when she had been a nurse. Now she had plenty of free time.

"Mmkay" Bellamy mumbled through a mouthful of apple, but Clarke could still see the fear lurking in his eyes.  
"Hey," she said softly, placing a hand on his tense shoulder, "We're going to find her. We won't stop looking until we do." Bellamy hung his head, closing his eyes for a second, before looking up at the doors to the library.  
"Yeah, well, let's hope we don't have to look far." he replied, running a hand through his hair again, and walking up to the door.

The instant Clarke stepped inside, the faint smell of old paper and ink greeted her; but before she had time to register it, Bellamy was tugging her by the hand into another room.  
"Okay, this is where she always studies." Bellamy said, stopping just inside the room. Well, if you could call it a room. It was more like a courtyard in the middle of the building, with a lush green lawn and a canopy of trees. Picnic-table-style desks were scattered haphazardly throughout the space, and a high glass ceiling allowed sunlight to stream through. Clarke could definitely see why Octavia would love it. But the girl in question was nowhere to be seen.

"She's not here." Bellamy whispered from beside her, and Clarke turned to face him. He looked so scared.

The hopeful look she had seen in his eyes before was gone, replaced by helplessness that almost broke her heart. His shoulders visibly sagged, and he hung his head, staring at the floor. It was clear to see how much he cared for his sister.

"Hey, Bellamy, just because she isn't here doesn't mean she isn't somewhere else safe." she said gently. Bellamy sniffled, and closed his eyes, his head still down.  
"But what if she isn't." he barely whispered, and Clarke felt her heart clench.

"Hey, look at me." she said, placing her hand under his jaw and tilting his head up. He kept his eyes closed, but he didn't move away. "Look at me." she urged, and he slowly opened his eyes, at first looking down, but then lifting his gaze to meet hers. The emotion in them was almost like a physical blow to Clarke. Splinters of hope, fear, anger, desperation and above it all, was a vulnerability so deep and startling that Clarke almost looked away. But she didn't.  
"I can't lose her Clarke, she's... she's _my responsibility."_ he whispered, and a tear escaped from his eye. Clarke reached her other hand up to wipe it away, and Bellamy leaned into her touch, closing his eyes again.

"Hey, hey, listen. We won't stop until we find her." she whispered, stroking his cheek with her thumb. More tears fell. He looked so sad in that moment, eyes closed tight, tears trailing down his cheeks, head turned towards her hand with a look of fear and desperation etched across his face. It made her heart break to see him that way.

"Come here" she murmured, pulling him in for a hug. It was like a switch flipped for Bellamy and suddenly he was almost sobbing into her neck, holding her tight against him like she was his lifeline, all the while murmuring that he was sorry, that he should be stronger than this, and it only made Clarke's heart break more.

"Bellamy, you don't have to be strong for me." she whispered, turning her head and pressing her nose to the crook of his neck. "Maybe for everyone else, but not for me."

 

* * *

 

 

Birdsong danced through the warm air, waking her up. The sun was bright behind her eyelids, and she felt a warm presence beside her. When she shifted, the arm wrapped around her middle tightened, and the owner of the arm groaned softly. Octavia opened her eyes, and was greeted by the sight of her boyfriend, wrapped up in their blanket with his head resting on his arm. She looked around dazedly, taking in the grassy clearing, the the tall, colourful trees, and the amazing view beyond the edge of the cliff.

Memories slowly flooded her mind; Lincoln taking her here as a surprise, the ensuing passion, then they had eaten the food he had brought, before finally settling down to 'sleep'. She smiled happily.

"Hey." Lincoln said from next to her, voice gravelly from sleep. She looked back over to him to see a soft smile playing across his lips, and adoration clear in his eyes. She couldn't help but lean in to give him a slow, lazy kiss.

"What's the time" he asked as she pulled back, and suddenly Octavia remembered Bellamy.

"Shit shit shit shit shit!" she said frantically as she scrambled to get up.  
"What is it?" Lincoln asked, frowning at her sudden reaction.  
"I never told Bell where I was going! He's going to be so worried!" she exclaimed, desperately searching through her clothes for her phone. She knew 'worried' would be an understatement.

"Shit it's 8 o'clock. He's probably looking for me. Fuck, I have 12 missed calls. Two of them are from Clarke." she said the last part as a question. Maybe Bellamy asked her if she knew where Octavia was. Or maybe Clarke just wanted to talk about their scene, which they had later on that day.

She put the phone to her ear and waited for the call to connect. He picked up on the third ring.

"O! Where are you! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"  
"Bell, I'm fine." Octavia said, trying to sound exasperated. But she heard a little bit of gulit creep in.  
"We've been looking everywhere for you, where the hell are you?"  
"We?"  
"Clarke and I. Seriously O, where are you?" Octavia smiled a little. She could see the way those two acted around each other. She totally shipped it.  
"I'm just..." she looked at Lincoln, silently asking him where they were. _Mount_ _Weather_ he mouthed _._ "I'm at Mount Weather." she said into the phone.  
"What the hell O, how did you get there? _Why_ are you there?"  
"Uhhh, I'll explain when you get here, it's kind of a long story." Octavia almost cringed at the terrible evasion, but it was the best she could come up with.

"O, I promise I won't get mad. I'm just glad you're safe." said Bellamy, also seeming to notice. "And we'll be there soon, so just stay where you are."  
"Okay Bell, see you"  
"See you"

Octavia stared down at the phone. She had never felt so guilty.

"Hey, it's okay. He had Clarke with him, and now he knows you're safe." Lincoln said, reading her mind.  
"Yeah. We should probably pack all this up now." she said, shoulders sagging.  
"Yeah." Lincoln agreed.

Neither of them moved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about all the mental breakdowns.... I actually think there has been one every chapter. Oops. But yeah, I guess that's just the stage of life which I'm in now. Being 14 kinda sucks. Oh well, I'll survive, I just hope this story doesn't end up any worse for wear!


	9. They Can Wait Longer Than We Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of a POV switch in this chapter, so don't get confused! And as always, I hope you all enjoy! :)

Clarke was bored. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, not anything that seemed even remotely entertaining... that was, until she caught a dark haired girl staring at her from across the room. The other girl smirked, but didn't break eye contact. The brunette was definitely not ashamed to be caught staring.

Clarke rasied her eyebrows, and the girl stood up, sidling over to where Clarke was leaning against the wall.  
"Hey, I'm Marie" she said, giving Clarke a slow once over. She was definitely not afraid to let Clarke know what her thoughts were. And Clarke liked it.  
"Hey Marie, I'm Clarke" she replied, drawing out the words, while returning the once over.  
"You looked bored" the other girl said, smirking again, "Bet I could fix that for you."  
"Oh yeah?" said Clarke, stepping closer to girl "Prove it."

Clarke had barely finished talking when the girl stepped in, pressing up against Clarke's body, and kissed her. Clarke responded instantly, winding her fingers through her long brown hair and pulling her closer. Marie groaned, and opened her mouth to Clarke, running her hands up down Clarke's sides. She certainly wasn't bored anymore.  
She moaned softly as the other girl slid her tounge into her mouth, and involuntarily gave Marie's hair a short tug. But just as Clarke was about to pull the girl closer, a gruff voice sounded from behind her.  
"Marie, what the fuck do you think you're doing."

"That was brilliant!" said another voice, as Octavia pulled away from Clarke, "I don't think we need another take."  
Octavia grinned at Clarke, then turned to where Lincoln was standing behind the cameras.  
"Sorry you had to watch that, babe. But I promise to make it up to you!" she called, blowing a kiss to her boyfrined. Lincoln grinned back at her.  
"I'll hold you to that." he replied. Clarke rolled her eyes, before turning around to face Bellamy.

"So, was that as good as Kane seems to think?" she questioned, raisng her eyebrows.  
"It was pretty convincing." he said, but his voice was a little off. Come to think of it, his expression was too. He looked... flustered. Agitated. But it was probably just because he had watched someone passionately make out with his sister. It would definitely make her feel weird. That was probably it.

"Hey, so Raven invited the whole cast to go out for drinks tonight at TonDC. Are you coming?" she asked.  
"I was thinking about it. O said she was going, and so are Jasper, Monty and Miller. Are you?" he replied, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"Yeah. Raven said, and I quote, 'Clarke Griffin if you don't get your ass down to the damn bar tonight, I will drag you by the hair'." Bellamy laughed at that.  
"Sounds like Raven." he said, looking over at the girl in question. Clarke felt her stomach clench slightly as she watched him watch the other girl.  
"She said she was also inviting Wells." she said, getting back Bellamy's attention.  
"Who's Wells?" Bellamy asked, his voice laced with suspicion.  
"He's actually a long time friend of mine." She noticed Bellamy tense slightly "But I'm pretty sure him and Raven are crushing on each other. I'm definitely hoping to see some action between them tonight." His shoulders relaxed after she finished her sentence. Weird.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tonight then." he said, and smiled at her. But something still wasn't quite right.

 

* * *

 

 

"Show me what you're wearing." Raven demanded, walking into Clarke's room. She took one look at the mess of skirts, dresses and shoes, and Clarke lying facedown in the middle of it, before saying "Okay, you need help."

"I've looked through every single item of clothing that I own, but nothing is right!" Clarke groaned, still lying in the middle of her bed.  
"Come on Clarke, get up. I'll help you." Raven said, and Clarke felt relief flood her. She had spent the last hour and a half trying on all her favourite outfits, and when none of them seemed quite good enough, she had tried on almost every other combination she could think of. And still, nothing was quite right.

Clarke sat up and looked at Raven. She was wearing a two piece dress with a lacy white top and a simple black skirt. She looked amazing. And it only made Clarke's despair grow.  
"There's nothing I can wear!" she wailed, frustration growing inside her.  
"How about that emergency black dress you bought specifically for this situation?" Raven asked.  
"It's not good enough." Clarke grumbled, burying her face in her bed covers again. She didn't see the knowing smirk Raven gave her.  
"Okay, how about we look through my closet. I'm sure we'll find something there." Raven said, patting Clarke's head consolingly. Clarke nodded pitifully.

"I don't understand." Clarke complained as she followed Raven to her room.  
"Oh, I do." Raven said breezily, pulling Clarke into her room and sitting her on the bed. "And, I know the perfect dress!"  
"Okay..." Clarke said, face scrunched up in confusion. What did Raven mean? How could she understand something Clarke was feeling when Clarke herself didn't know? But her train of thought was interupted when Raven stepped out of the wardrobe holding a white dress. It was simple, plain white, made from thick but silky material. The top was low cut, with detailing around the chest. It was perfect.

"It's perfect!" Clarke said, grinning at Raven before taking the dress to their bathroom to try it on. When she emerged, she gave Raven a little spin before asking "So, what do you think?"

"Damn girl, you look _hot_ in that dress! He won't be able to keep his eyes off you!" Raven exclaimed, smiling proudly.  
But Clarke was still stuck on the ' _He_ '. At least now her earlier comment made sense. If Raven thought there was a 'he' involved, then she probably thought that he was the reason why Clarke was stressing about what what to wear. It did make sense. But ...  
"Who is he?" Clarke said pointedly.  
"Uhh" Raven's smile dropped from her face.  
"Raven" Clarke said in a warning tone.

"Bellamy" Raven said, and Clarke felt a small stab of surprise. Bellamy? What made Raven think of Bellamy? Well... the two of them had gotten close. And they had been touching each other a lot more, in the casual sense. She would often find her hand resting lightly on his shoulder, or his hand hovering over the small of her back. And it had been happening a lot more often since the whole Octavia thing. And actually, Clarke _had_ thought about what his reaction might be to the dress, or more specifically, the spectacular cleavage the dress displayed. But... that didn't mean she wanted to admit it.

An awkward silence stretched between the two girls, until Raven finally broke it.  
"It's true though" she said softly, and Clarke looked at her.  
"What is?"

"He won't be able to keep his eyes off you."

 

* * *

 

 

"Clarke, what do you want to drink?" Raven asked her friend, who was looking nervously at the door. Presumably waiting for Bellamy. Raven smiled.  
"Umm, surprise me." Clarke said, distracted.

About half of the cast had arrived so far, and unfortunately that included Finn, who had been shooting looks at Raven all evening. It was starting to make her feel uncomfortable. So she had decided to get drinks for her friends, if only to get away from Finn's unnerving stares.

But just as she was about to go, she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Wells.  
"Hey, I'll come." he said, giving her a small, nervous smile. Which definitely wasn't like him, so he probably had something to say to her. She hoped.  
"Okay, sure. Come on." she said, letting curiosity, and the fact that she still had a huge crush on Wells, get the better of her.

Raven waited patiently as they made their way over to the bar, and ordered the drinks. And she was right to wait, because as soon as the bartender left to make the drinks, Wells turned to her and said, "Raven I need to talk to you."  
"Okay, so, talk." she said, half smiling. He was cute when he was nervous.  
"I, ah, I wanted to apologize, for... leaving you. At the cast party thing." he said, looking down. Raven huffed out a small laugh.  
"Wells, you don't have to apologize for that. You had to go, it wasn't your fault." she said, resting her hand on his shoulder.  
"Yeah but.." he licked his lips, and Raven's eyes tracked the movement, "You looked like you--"  
He was cut off but a voice from behind Raven.

"Raven, I was looking for you."  
She didn't need to turn around to know who was talking. Wells' face said it clearly enough.  
"Fuck off Finn." she said, spinning to face him.  
"Come on Raven, I just wanted to talk. Alone." the last part was clearly directed at Wells, but Raven was having none of it.  
"Whatever you have to say, you can say to both of us." she said in a cold, uncomprimising voice. Finn sighed in frustration.  
"Okay, fine. Raven, I just think... we had something special. You loved me, and I know that when you love someone, you can't just make it disappear." he said.  
"Okay, first, what would you know about love? The instant a better option came around, you forgot about me. And second, maybe I can't make love disappear by myself, but you certainly helped in every way you could. And third, I know you tried this with Clarke already, and I WILL NOT be your consolation prize." Raven could feel the anger building up inside her.  
"Come on, Raven. Don't be like that. I know we can make it work if we both try-"  
"Get the hell away from me Finn." she hissed, cutting him off, "I don't want to try with you."

She saw Finn open his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out, she spun around and kissed Wells. He let out a small, surprised noise, which... she couldn't really blame him. But then he kissed her back, lifting his hand to cup her face. Raven stepped closer, twining her arms around his neck and kissing him harder. He responded instantly, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her flush against his chest. She ran her tounge across his bottom lip, groaning when he opened his mouth and slid his tounge into hers. She lost herself in the kiss, letting Wells surround her and block out the world. It was everything she had imagined and more, and she fully intended to never stop, but someone cleared their throat, trying to get their attention.

"Your drinks are ready."

Wells broke away from her, panting slightly, lips swollen, pupils blown. Finn was nowhere to be seen.

Raven smiled gently at him. "Let's get these drinks to our friends, and then I'm ready for round two."  
He grinned back at her. "Sounds like a plan."

 

  
"I told you" she said, nudging his side.  
"What?" Bellamy said, looking over at her.  
"Over there, Wells and Raven." she said, trying not to smile too hard. She had been waiting forever for her two friends to get together, and now it was finally happening, she wasn't going to miss a second. When the two of them finally broke apart, Clarke turned to look at Bellamy, only to find him already looking at her. He smiled shyly, looking down at the table, then looking at her again.

"What?" Clarke asked, half smiling. He shifted in his seat.  
"You, ah, you look gorgeous." he said, and Clarke could see a blush creeping up his neck.  
"Well, you don't look too bad yourself." she said, tugging playfully on the hem of his shirt.  
"Yeah?" he said, grinning again and looking down at himself.  
"Yeah, you clean up nice, but..."  
"But what?" he said, "Is there something wrong?" She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair until it resembled its usual unruly mess. He had clearly tried to style it, but Clarke definitely liked it better when it was a wild tangle of silky curls.  
"You like it like that, huh?" Bellamy said after she lowered hands, but his voice was definitely more gravelly, and when Clarke looked into his eyes, she could see his pupils were dilated.  
"Yeah" she said, but her voice was rough too, and when Bellamy reached forward and pulled her hair out of its braid, she felt something inside her stir.  
"Bellamy" she said, but it was more of a moan.

"Clarke"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! I'll try to get the next chapter up by next week, so you don't have to wait too long. I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> If you want to see Clarkes dress, you can find it at https://goo.gl/images/L3MV15  
> And Raven's dress is at https://goo.gl/images/oE8tJu


	10. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all probably thought that when I said 'earlier', that I meant sooner than 2 days before update day, well so did I. Sorry.
> 
> But I still hope you enjoy the chapter!

"Bellamy"

"Clarke"

Clarke felt her heart beat speed up. Bellamys eyes were dark, looking at her with fire in his eyes. She knew she probably wore a similar expression.

But then he broke eye contact, looking down at the table, twisting his hands nervously.  
"Sorry, I- Uh, you probably put actual effort into your hair." he said, and Clarke almost laughed out loud.  
"Bellamy" she said affectionately "I put effort into it so I would look good... for you. So if you like it better when it's down, then so do I"  
"You... really?" he said, soundly stupidly hopeful.  
"Yeah" Clarke breathed, and he looked up at her again.

His expression made her breath catch. Bellamy had never looked at her like that before. Like she was everything he wanted.

And he was all she wanted too.

Clarke slowly leaned in, letting her eyelids flutter close. She felt his breath on her face, and she leaned in, closer, closer, until...

_Ring, ring!_

The two of them startled at the sound of Clarkes phone going off, jumping apart as if they'd been shocked. Clarke looked around guiltily, before remembering that she was doing nothing wrong.

"Uhh, you had better take that." Bellamy said stiffly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah." mumbled Clarke, looking down at the screen. It was her mother. "I'll be back"

Abby had been trying to call Clarke ever since Clarke had quit nursing, and everytime Clarke had let it go to answer phone. Each time, she had told herself that she would answer. Eventually.

But eventually had just turned into now.

She answered the call as she stood up, looking around for somwhere that might be quiet. She figured her best bet would be outside.

"Clarke, why have you not been answering my calls?" Abby said angrily, as soon as Clarke lifted the phone to her ear.  
"That. That's why." Clarke said dryly as she pushed her way through the crowd.   
"Honey... okay, I promise I won't yell or get mad. But-" Abbys sentence is cut off by a loud shout, "Clarke, where are you?"

"I'm at a bar. Just let me get outside, then we can talk." Clarke said, speeding up.

"Okay, so what were you saying?" Clarke asked. The crisp air outside was a stark contrast to the warm, stuffiness inside. Clarke supressed a shiver.  
"I was going to ask why... Clarke, honey, why did you quit?" her mother asked. Clarke had known it was coming, but that didn't lessen the heavy ball of dread that filled her stomach.  
"I'll tell you if you promise not to interupt me until I'm finished." Clarke said. She knew her mother wouldn't like what she was about to say next, and she also knew asking Abby not to interupt would be the best way to get her to listen. It had worked before.  
"Okay, I promise." her mother replied after a short pause. Clarke took a deep breath before beginning.  
"I quit my job as a nurse because, it just didn't feel like me anymore. And now that I think about it, it never really did. You always wanted me to be a doctor, to follow in your footsteps. And, I didn't really mind the idea. Afterall, it was what I'd known since I was a kid. I.. I still don't really mind it, but I want a job that I really enjoy, mum. I want a job that I can love."

"Clarke, I understand that feeling. I really do. But maybe this is just some silly rebellious stage, and I don't want you to make any desicions you might regret. It's not too late for you to go back to the hospital. The doctors there respect me and I could-"  
"Did you not hear everything I just said?" Clarke interupted, furious, "God, mum. Do you want me to spell it put for you? I. Don't. Want. To. Be. A. Doctor. Any. More."

"Come on darling, what are you going to do instead?" Abby said, sounding exasperated. It only made Clarke angrier.  
"The TV show I'm in is getting some buzz, I think-"  
" _Acting_?" Abby said disbelieving "You quit nursing so you could do _acting_?"  
"Yes I did." Clarke replied primly.  
"Clarke! Are you hearing yourself?!" Abby asked, "Why would you do that!?!"  
"Look, mum, can we please have this conversation another time? I really don't want to be standing put in the cold for hours listening to you lecturing me on my life desicions." Clarke said, ignoring her mothers comment. And it really was starting to ge cold.  
"But we need to talk about this-"  
"But we don't need to talk about this now. I'll cal you tomorrow or something. Bye."

She hung up the phone before her mother could protest, before letting out a deep sigh. The phonecall would not be one she would be looking forward too, but having it later was probably better than having it now.

She was pretty sure her cheeks were still red from embarassment after her phone interupted her and Bellamy. She rubbed her arms, trying smooth out the goosebumps. She couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if Abby hadn't called, if nothing else had come up, if her and Bellamy had... _kissed_.

She was thinking about it as she walked back into the bar, as she weaved through the collection of tables, and the crowds of people. And she was thinking about it when she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see Finn.

"Clarke." he said.  
"No." she said.

Finn sighed lightly, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.   
"I just wanted to ask you something." he said, petulant, and Clarke had to refrain from rolling her eyes.  
"Okay, well make it quick." she said, glancing over to the table where all her friends were.

"Did you know about Raven and Wells?" he asked, and Clarke frowned.   
"Well, I saw them making out by the bar before, but that's the first I've heard of it." she replied, hoping that would be enough for him to leave her alone. It wasn't.

"So that's the first time they've kissed then?" he asked. Clarke looked back over to the table again.  
"As far as I know" she replied. He frowned.  
"But were they dating?" he said. He was clearly not giving up so easily.

"I don't know, okay? If they were then they were either trying to keep it a secret or it only happened recently." she said, exasperated. She turned back to the table and caught Octavia's eye. She quickly mouthed _help_ , hoping Finn didn't see, before turning back to look at him again.   
"Well why would they try to keep it a secret?" Finn said, clearly trying to keep the conversation going. But now Octavia knew Clarke needed rescuing. Maybe she would send Bellamy.

"There are plenty of reasons I can think of. And anyway, why are you so worried about it?" She could see Finn warring with himself. The desire to keep whatever it was a secret fighting the desire to keep the conversation running. And apparently a conversation with her was more important.  
"I was just talking to Raven, and then she suddenly turned around and made out with Wells." he said, and at least he had the capacity to look sheepish, because Clarke was beyond annoyed.  
"You tried to talk to Raven!? I'm surprised all she did was kiss her crush in front of you after what you did! And please Finn, please tell me that you weren't trying to get her back!?" She cried, incredulous. His silence was all the answer she needed.

"Finn! What were you thinking!" she said, because of course she was allowed to be angry. Raven was her best friend! And Finn had hurt her, alot. But... he did look really guilty. So she toned it back a bit.

"Okay, just, promise me you'll just... stay away from her. Obviously if she tries to talk to you, don't ignore her but just please give her space. She'll talk to you when she's ready. Not before." She felt a little bit like she was telling Finn off, but he deserved it. Anyone who hurts Raven derserves it.

"Okay, I won't talk to her. But.... does that mean I can talk to you?" he replied, looking hopeful. It was all Clarke could do to not smack her palm onto her forehead. She was just about ready to walk away from this conversation If Octavia didn't do something soon, Clarke would have to bail herself out. Which could possibly lead Finn to believe that he was entitled to talk to her whenever he wanted to again. Which he wasn't. He had to earn it.

"Look, Finn. I think you should just take a step back, forget about your feelings for a minute, and just think about what you're saying here. Me and Raven went through the same thing, give or take a couple of differences."  
"Oh. So... I should give both of you space." Finn surmised, looking down at his feet.

But just as Clarke was about to answer, an arm slid around her waist, and voice behind her said "Hey babe, I was wondering what was taking you so long."

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia was happy.

She had her amazing boyfriend on one side, and her brother (Who had finally recognised that boyfrineds don't actually get much better than Lincoln) on the other. She had just had enough to drink that she felt warm and happy, and as she looked around the table at her newfound friends, she could see they were at the same place she was. Except one of them was missing.

"Hey Bell, where's Clarke?" she asked nudging him in the side.   
"She got a phone call from her mum." he mumbled, looking down at his drink, and Octavia noticed a faint blush colouring his cheeks.  
"Are you okay?" she asked, frowning slightly. He looked almost... embarrassed. "Did you say something embarrassing in front of Clarke?" His head snapped up to look at her. That was all the answer she needed. "What happened?"

"It was nothing. Don't worry about it." he said, looking back down at his drink again.  
"Okay, then do you know where she went to take the call?" she asked. Maybe she could find out from Clarke.  
"Outside, I think." he replied.

Octavia looked out across the bar, in the general direction of the door. She wasn't sure exactly how long Clarke had been missing, but it was probably long enough that she would have finished talking to Abby, right?

"Oh, there she is." said Octavia, and she definitely noticed when her brother imediately perked up.  
"Where?"  
"Over there, talking to... Finn?" she said the last part as a question. Octavia knew what Finn had done to her, had even seen some of the effects his actions had had on her. If she was talking to him, it definitely wasn't by choice.  
Bellamy seemed to agree with her because, "Why the -- is she talking to that ------ idiot?"

Clarke was looking mildly disgusted, and Octavia had to bite back a laugh. But then Clarke caught her eye. Relief seemed to flood the others girls face, and she mouthed something quickly to Octavia. _Help_.

"Bell, Clarke needs help." she said, nudging him in the side again.  
"Well you should help her then." he replied, scowling. Octavia rolled her eyes.  
"She needs rescuing from Finn. You can just walk over there and intimidate Finn and he'll leave Clarke alone." she said.  
"Well maybe she doesn't want to be rescued." he said, petulant.  
"Bellamy, she just said ' _help_ ' to me. I'm pretty sure she needs rescuing"   
"Well maybe not from me okay? Leave it O." He burst out, startling Octavia. But she had learned not to let it rattle her.  
"Okay fine, I'll save her myself." she huffed, then turned to Lincoln, "Babe, I need to rescue Clarke. Don't be jealous."  
He glanced over at Clarke, then turned to Octavia and nodded.

Then she got up and sidled over to Clarke. It was really just like their scene they had filmed earlier that day. When she reached Clarke, she slid arm around her waist and gave Finn a supremely unimpressed look, before saying "Hey babe, I was wondering what was taking you so long." and leaning over to give the other girl a peck on the lips.

Clarke looked disoriented for a second, before she smoothed out her expression, and draping an arm over Octavia's shoulders.  
"Oh, I was just leaving" Clarke said, smiling sunnily.  
"Good, because I was missing you" Octavia pouted, then, because if you're going to do it you have to commit, she pulled Clarke down and kissed her passionately. When she finally pulled back, Finn was gone and most of the men in the bar were staring. Octavia found it hilarious.  
"Mind your own business!" Octavia yelled, then pulled Clarke back down. She figured she might as well have some fun. And she could feel Clarke holding back a grin, so it wasn't just her finding the whole thing ridiculously funny.

The two of them pulled apart after a while, and Octavia dragged Clarke back to their table, grinning as their friends applauded them.  
"That was quite a performance" Raven laughed, and jasper even wolf whistled. But then Octavia's eyes reached her brother, and her good cheer instantly disappeared, because she saw... hurt. But he quickly covered it up and stood, mumbling "bathroom" before leaving the table.

But then Lincoln said "You definitely owe me for having to watch that", before pulling her in for a kiss, and Bellamy slipped from her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is kind of a filler, but get ready for some more Bellarke action next time!   
> And I just wanted to say that I really appreciated all of your support; I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for you! <3


	11. I Don't Want To Feel That Way Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry! I really have no other excuse for how late this is other than my lack of motivation, but I promise to try harder for the next chapter! And as always, I hope all enjoy this one, although I'm not sure I'm 100% happy with it. Feedback would be greatly appciated.

Wells gave Clarke a high five as soon as she got back to the table, breathless from Octavia's kiss, and grinning with the success that had come with it. Hopefully Finn wouldn't be bothering her again.  
"That was pretty impressive." he said, grinning back at her. She smiled smugly.  
"And from what I hear, that wasn't the first time Finn was interrupted by a kiss tonight." Clarke replied, looking pointedly back at her roommate. Raven just smiled sweetly then pulled Wells in for another kiss, causing both Clarke and Wells to laugh.  
Clarke turned around to laugh with Octavia, only to find the other girl wrapped up in Lincolns arms. She almost scolded them for not being more careful, if Finn saw them like that he would know something was up, but they looked too happy and Clarke just couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead she turned to Bellamy's seat, only to find it empty. She frowned.

Bellamy had been there when she had gotten back, he was the first one she looked for, but then Wells had distracted her.   
"Hey Octavia, where's Bellamy?" she asked, hoping the other girl had at least some idea. Octavia looked over at Clarke with a strange expression on her face, but it was gone before Clarke could decipher it.  
"Bathroom." Octavia said, before letting Lincoln pull her in again.

Clarke frowned, considering his timing. It was definitely possible that it was a coincedence, but... maybe the moment they had, maybe it was an accident. Maybe he had just gotten caught up in the moment, but now he realised it was a mistake, but he didn't want to hurt Clarke's feelings so he was just avoiding her, or maybe the moment had just been Clarke's imagination and maybe she just completely misread the situation and made a fool of herself, or maybe he had wanted to kiss her but after she left he changed his mind and didn't want to see her anymore to avoid the awkwardness or maybe... Maybe he just needed to go to the bathroom.

She shook herself internally. She didn't know which of the scenarios, if any, were true and there was no point in stressing herself over it. She would just have to sit tight and wait for his return.

10 minutes later there was still no sign of him, and she was beginning to get worried. She sipped her drink, nervously playing with the hem of her dress. She wasn't used to feeling so powerless to do anything, and it was clear from her tense muscles and non-stop figeting that she didn't like it. She couldn't just do nothing.

She got up and started heading over to the bathrooms to... well, to do something. She would figure it out. But she was almost there when she saw a head of black curls moving through the crowd. Bellamy. She quickly weaved her way over, catching him just before he was about to slip through the door...

"Bellamy" she said, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He tried to subtley shrug it off, but Clarke still noticed.  
"Oh, hey Clarke." he mumbled.  
"Were you leaving?" she asked, frowning.  
"Uh, yeah. I'm not feeling so great." he replied looking down at his shoes.  
"Bellamy, is everything okay?"   
"Yeah, everything's fine." But Clarke could tell he was lying.  
"Seriously Bellamy, what's wrong?" she pushed. She saw a flash of irritation colour his face.  
"I'm fine Clarke. You don't have to worry about me."' he said.   
"You know you can talk to me about any-"  
"Not this Clarke! Okay? I just- Please just leave me alone." he exploded, startling Clarke, and rendering her speechless.

When she didn't answer, he just huffed, then turned and walked out the door, leaving Clarke frozen. She stood there for a minute or two after he left, collecting her thougts, and trying to ignore the stinging behind her eyes.

He was probably just tired or had had a bad day. He had been acting weird all morning, and maybe it had all just caught up to him now.

But maybe it had something to do with their almost kiss. Maybe that was why he had left. That thought alone caused the tears she had been holding to spill out onto her cheeks. Maybe it was all her fault. Maybe she had ruined their friendship.

No.

_No_. She told herself sternly. It was obviously something Bellamy had to sort out, that had nothing to do with her. It wasn't the end of their friendship, just a roadbump. In fact, everything would probably be back to normal the next day.

She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, then walked back over to the table. It would all be back to normal the next day.

 

* * *

 

 

A week later, Bellamy was still acting weird. He didn't stop being friends with her, but things between them were... different. More Awkward. Less comfortable.

Clarke tried not to be bothered by it, after all, she still had Raven. But then, Raven had been spending a lot more time with Wells recently. Not that Clarke was against that or anything, but... it was just that for as long as the two girls had known each other, Raven had been Clarke's go-to frind. The one she could always count on to be there. But her constant presence in Clarke's life had been becoming less and less constant. And it was the same with Wells. Whenever Raven was out, she used to talk to Wells instead, but now that Raven was out _with_ Wells, that was no longer and option. She still had Octavia, but Octavia was Bellamy's sister, so she couldn't really talk to her about the whole situation.

And the thing was, she didn't want to tell Raven or Wells that she was missing them, because that would be selfish, and she didn't want to ask Octavia to not hang out with her brother so much for the same reason, so instead she just pretended that she wasn't feeling lonely, and that everything was normal. It was working for her so far (kind of).

But then, after filming on Thursday, Kane pulled her aside, asking if he could talk to her briefly.  
"Let's just get straight to the point, whatever it is that is going on between you and Bellamy is having an effect on your acting." Clarke felt stunned for a second, but she quickly collected her thoughts.  
"Have you talked to Bellamy about this yet?" she asked.  
"No, I thought I would tell you first, give you a chance to solve whatever this problem is. And I mean really solve it. Not just pretend it doesn't exist like you have been for the past week." he said, and Clarke couldn't help but be surprised. He had known from the start? Her thoughts must have been showing on her face, because he smiled knowingly.

"I was your age once too, Clarke. I remember how every little thing felt earth-altering. But I also remember that the best way to avoid making things worse is to face it all head on. It might seem like everything is going horribly wrong in that moment, but trust me, it's better in the long run." Clarke was silent for a moment, soaking up the words, carefully considering them, before she spoke again.  
"Okay. You're right, and I'm sorry that my personal problems have been affecting your show. But I promise things will be fixed by Monday." she said, trying to convince herself as much as Kane.

He gave her a small smile, "I certainly hope so. Don't forget that Tuesday is when we film the first time Bob and Eliza talk to each other alone. Have a good weekend." he said, then turned and walked away, leaving Clarke with a steely determination. Things would be fixed by Monday.

 

* * *

 

 

By Friday afternoon nothing had changed.

The night after Kane had talked to her about the whole ordeal, Clarke had kept herself up untill the small hours of the morning trying to form a plan for what she was going to say, and worrying about what Bellamy's reaction might be, as well as stressing herself over potentially losing Raven and Wells as her friends. But in the end it proved to be fruitless, because the next day Bellamy was still being distant and Clarke found herself ignoring it again. Not that she wanted things to stay the way they were. She just wasn't sure exactly how to make them better without destroying what little she had left. But she knew she had to try.

Suddenly, a loud burst of giggles disrupted Clarke's train of thought, and Raven and Wells stumbled into the living room of the apartment.  
"Oh, Clarke, hey" Raven said, trying to supress her laughter, and mostly failing. Wells just grinned at her. Clarke managed to muster up a convincing smile back.  
"Hey guys, what are you up to?" she replied, using all her effort to keep the weariness and frustration out of her voice.  
"We were... uh.. Raven said you were going to be out for a while.. so we were going to... yeah." Wells stammered, trying to look sheepish, but the huge smile on his face was preventing it.

Clarke sighed internally. She was exhausted from all the pretending she had been doing, and for a moment she felt like just yelling everything at the two of them, making them understand what she was feeling. But she quickly supressed that thought. She would bear so they didn't have to.

"Oh, that's fine. I was thinking about going for a walk anyway." was all she said. She hoped it sounded convincing.  
The pair exchanged a quick glance, then Raven looked back over to Clarke.  
"Clarke, you don't have to go. We can just do it another time, or-"  
"No, no. It's okay. I can go. It's really not a problem." Clarke cut off her friend, already moving to gather her stuff.  
"Seriously Clarke," Raven intoned "You can stay. Wells and I have will have plenty more opportunities." Clarke smiled grimly.  
"No, really, I'll go. I wouldn't want to ruin your fun." she said tightly, bending down to tie up her shoe laces. There was silence for a moment.  
"You really don't have to go," Wells said, sounding almost exasperated, "We don't want to kick you out of your own home."

It was the casual way Wells uses 'we' that truly got her, and suddenly all the stress and worry she had experienced over the past weekdropped onto her back like a physical weight. She feels tears stinging the backs of her eyes, and she stood up from her spot on the couch so quickly that she almost lost her balance.  
"Wells, Raven," she said through gritted teeth, "I can handle being sexiled, okay? You guys have fun, and I'll back in a couple of hours." she said it slowly, emphasising each syllable, as if she was talking to a child. The couple looked at each other again with matching expressions. She reigned in her desire to growl at the pair ( _growl_? _Seriously_? _What had gotten into her?_ ), then stomped past them and out the door before another word could be spoken.

Clarke felt the tears spill down her cheeks only after she had turned the corner off the street the apartment was on. She could feel her chest rising and falling heavily as she held back the sobs that wanted to tear from inside her. Barely.

She ignored the worried stares of passers by as she walked blindly through the city. She shoved aside the fear inducing thoughts of being left behind by her friends. She pretended that when Bellamy's face flashed across her mind, it didn't get ten times harder to breathe. She would think about all that later. For now, her only goal was getting as far from the apartment as possible.

She walked and walked, blindly turning corners and crossing roads. She had no idea how she was going to get back.

It was only when she stopped outside a door, that she realised where she had been going. " _Octavia"_ she whispered, but that trecharous voice inside her head said a different name. She drew in a shuddering breath, then reached a shaking hand out to ring the doorbell, praying to whoever would listen, begging that it would be Octavia that answered, not.... Someone else.

Clarke stood infront of the door, sobs wracking her body, waiting for it to open. When it finally did, she dropped her head, hiding her tears.  
"What do you want, Princess." Bellamy's harsh voice went straight to her heart, and suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore. A flood of emotion poured through her, causing her small frame to shudder with the intensity.  
"Princess?"

Suddenly, Clarke's knees gave, and she collapsed onto Bellamy's doorstep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go! I don't know how to feel about this, but I'm definitely thinking about writing some oneshots in the near future, so if you enjoyed this fic, then keep an eye out for them! Also sorry for the cliffhanger, but I hope the next chapter will make up for it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! I think this story will end up being around during 12 chapters long, but that number might change. Please tell me any thoughts you have, feedback (and feed forward!) will help me with this heaps!


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